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Yakub Qureshi now announces Rs 51 crore reward for Mani Shankar Aiyar

09, Jan 2015 By indianpsycho

Lucknow. After earlier offering reward of Rs 51 crores to Charlie Hebdo attackers, BSP leader Haji Yakub Ali has now gone ahead and announced cash reward of Rs 51 crores for Congress leader Mani Shankar Aiyar.

Yakub was reportedly bowled over with Mani Shankar Aiyar’s explanation over why terrorists attacked and mighty impressed with the manner in which Aiyar articulated it.

Faking News expects more fireworks from this jodi during future terror attacks.
Faking News expects more fireworks from this jodi during future terror attacks.

“There was so much grace, style and panache in the way Aiyar miyan explained the reason behind shootings in Paris. It was far better than what a madrassa educated person like me could ever come up with,” Yakub explained the logic behind his fresh offer.

“He makes even a gruesome incident sound so sophisticatedly logical that it really stirs up your mind and make you sit up and take notice,” Yakub added.

Sources say that Yakub was also extremely enraged with Arnab Goswami, while watching him rip apart Aiyar yesterday, so much that he even thought of announcing a bounty of Rs 51 crore on his tongue and throat, but decided against it, after somebody told him that it was already insured for same amount.

Yakub later vowed to improve his command over sophistry and English. He hopes that after receiving the cash reward, Mani Shankar Aiyar would oblige him with helping him fine tune his language skills, so that he could add a touch of class to his future statements, which echo more or less the same sentiments as echoed by Mr. Aiyar.

“To say that something hurt my sentiments is passé. It is so run of the mill. It’s time to come up with some more innovative logics like Mani Shankar Aiyar did, for such attacks,” Yakub told Faking News as he tried to offer reward to UP Police officer who had come to arrest him.

Meanwhile Mani Shankar Aiyar’s office has been flooded with letters and emails from people of all walks of life, urging him to offer some explanations for something wrong that they are accused of.

“Request to you to link my batting form with something in the past and my performances as ‘obvious backlash’ for the same,” read a ‘talentedly’ written email.