Tora Bora, Afghanistan. Ridiculing the legend of Mauryan emperor Ashoka having felt sick after witnessing mass death and destruction during the war of Kalinga, terrorists from Taliban have asserted that they never felt an iota of discomfort despite having killed thousands of human beings in various terrorist activities in the past few years. On the contrary, the terrorists have declared to keep on killing people, whenever and wherever they can strike.
“Naah! It’s a holy war. What’s so sickening about it?” said Taliban leader Maulana Mushroom Azahar, categorically rejecting any possibility of Taliban terrorists having ever felt a bit uneasy after killing hundreds of unsuspecting human beings.
Maulana Azahar expressed utter disbelief over the legend of Kalinga war and refused to believe that the widespread death and destruction had changed Ashoka’s heart.
“Are you fucking kidding me?” Mushroom Azahar asked Faking News reporter, aiming with an AK-47 for his (reporter’s) head.
Shit-scared, our reporter showed Maulana Azahar various history textbooks, VCDs of SRK’s movie Asoka, and newspaper articles to buttress his point, but Taliban leader trashed all of those proofs, piling them together and blowing them off with his hand-grenade, like Buddhas of Bamyan were blown away.
“Behead whoever is possessing VCDs of this Asoka.” Maulana raised his index finger and released a new decree then and there, tightening the already existing ban on Bollywood movies.
To save innocent Afghans from being beheaded, our reporter lied that his copy of the VCD was Indian (even though he had bought it from the local market in Kabul) and that the legend of Ashoka was considered true only by the Indians.
“Even if I’m to believe your bullshit, all I can see is that Ashoka couldn’t expand his empire after Kalinga war. What fun was left then in his life?” Mushroom Azahar argued, rejecting the legend as well as the wisdom of Ashoka.
“And dude, he really had a large empire, anyone would kill for that.” he added.
Taliban leader declared that their men had no immediate plans for any introspection and they had just begun in their quest for a large empire.
“There is no question of feeling sick and tired. We are in fact raring to go till Kalinga, wherever that place is, and prove that Ashoka was wrong.” Maulana declared, further expressing happiness when our reporter informed that Kalinga was in modern day India.
“And mostly infidels live there? Huh?” Maulana sought further information as our reporter nodded.
Meanwhile, Pakistan home minister didn’t rule out Indian hand in the terrorist strike in Lahore on Friday that killed over 70 people belonging to a sect, who considered themselves as Muslims but the Pakistani constitution had declared them as infidels.