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Taliban sends its representatives to Uttar Pradesh on a study tour

02, Jun 2014 By idiot420

Lucknow. Impressed by the current law and order situation of Uttar Pradesh, Taliban unit of Afghanistan has sent six of its representatives on a study tour of the Indian state.

“We are a progressive group of individuals and never shy away from learning. Till now, we thought of ourselves as the best in business, but after reviewing the current situation of Uttar Pradesh, we got a feeling that we have got to learn a lot,” said Taliban chief Omar Hizbullah in his official statement.

Representatives were allowed to carry weapons for their own security.
Representatives were allowed to carry weapons for their own security.

Taliban chief also disclosed that because of the high risk involved, initially, he was reluctant to send his boys to India.

“The biggest fear in my mind was, what if Uttar Pradesh turned out to be a normal state. That could have hampered the sanity of our representatives badly, as they have never been exposed to rule of law. But thanks to the UP government, everything was as expected,” Mr. Omar Hizbullah added with a sigh of relief.

“The level of lawlessness has made them feel home away from home,” he disclosed that the representatives have already landed in Uttar Pradesh.

Experts tell Faking News that with the advent of democracy in Afghanistan, Taliban has been trying to figure out if Talibanization of a democratic set up was possible. Their UP study tour is part of the same endeavor, experts say.

As of now, Taliban representatives are touring all the districts of Uttar Pradesh and taking notes on how to screw up a society while in a democratic set up.

Talking to Faking News, one of the representatives said that he was very touched by the lack of compassion in the ruling class for the people of the state.

“To be frank, I am loving this model of ‘maximum government, minimum governance‘ practiced here,” said Mustafa, a Taliban representative currently touring Lucknow.

“Especially, state police. It’s really amazing to see the level of freedom they enjoy despite being under a democratically elected government. If given a chance, I would like to join Uttar Pradesh police,” he quipped.