London, UK. Just a day after the remarkable and earth shattering judgement by the Supreme Court of India declaring all coal block allotments since 1993 illegal came, India has been hit by another mind boggling judgement that deals in retrospectivity.
The Supreme Court of England has ruled that granting independence to India by the British government in 1947 was illegal and India will be invaded again. The judgement goes on to hold Mr. Clement Attlee, the then Prime Minister of Britan guilty for the same.
Justifying his decision, Chief Justice of the Supreme Court of England his highness Sir Geoffrey Boycott said, “They say, the Indian legal system has its origins in the British legal system. By giving judgement like retrospective tax, coal block deallocation, they think they can supersede us, this is ruubbissh. Beat this!”
When sought David Cameron’s opinion on the matter, he said, “We have to respect court’s order and we are figuring out acceptable ways of ruling India again. In fact, I plan to fight the next Indian, sorry, British-Indian election and I hope one of the political parties will accept my candidature. Congress maybe, after all the party was founded by a British.”
Cameron further claimed that ruling India will not be any administrative challenge. “We just have to resume from where we left in 1947, there is not much that has happened since then in India. The Indian are used to us; they even have the same TV shows like Bigg Brother & Bigg Boss, Kumars at 42 & Comedy nights with Kapil, etc.”
While this news was met with widespread criticism across India, Ravi Shastri, the newly appointed Director of the Indian team supported it.
“Well, this is just of what the doctor ordered. If England rules India, technically India vs England matches will not be international matches and technically we have not lost any matches. See this is how you fix and manage things. Things are going in the right direction like a tracer bullet,” Shastri told Faking News.
However, there is some confusion if this applies only to India, or to Pakistan and Bangladesh too. While Bangladeshis insist that it is applicable to them too, Pakistanis are divided. Hafiz Sayeed has declared that England’s court verdict won’t apply to them, but Imran Khan has demanded that Pakistan also be ruled again.
“Please aangrezzon, rule us again and create a new Pakistan. I have decided to marry in Naya Pakistan. Jemima is waiting for me,” he tweeted.
Last heard, Mark Gatiss and Steven Mofatt had approached ACP Pradyuman and Dr. Salunkhe to play Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson in the Season 4 of Sherlock and cater to a wider combined British-Indian audience.