Islamabad: Pakistan has appointed a new Chief of the Army Staff, Lt. Gen. Qamar Bajwa, who will replace the powerful incumbent army chief Gen. Raheel Sharif. The new chief has been carefully selected by a rigorous process, revealed the Pakistani Prime Minister to Faking News. Our international reporter acquired special clearance from the newly selected army chief for an exclusive interview with Mr. Nawaz Sharif, the Pakistan Prime Minister.
FN: Greetings Prime Minister! Congratulations on selecting the new army chief!
Pak PM: You have to bring up the topic, Don’t you? You have no idea how it feels to invite someone to rule the country that you are elected to rule.
FN: Was it easy?
Pak PM: I would rather be with militants on a launch pad than in a discussion with an army chief!
FN: Are you not worried about surgical strikes?
Pak PM: You are Faking News. You know better!
FN: Tell us about the interview with the candidates for the top post, if there ever was one!
Pak PM: I wanted to ask several questions. But, the only question which kept on ringing in my mind was – will this fellow overthrow me? So, I kept that as the only question for all of them.
FN: How did you finally select Mr. Bajwa?
Pak PM: I studied his records and found out that he has never fired anyone in his illustrious career. Remarkable for an army chief! And he was the only one who smiled at the question and said if the situation ever comes to that, he will make me his external affairs minister. That was good enough for me. Last time an army chief removed me from power, I had to run abroad. This guy will send me abroad with respect as his external affairs minister.
With that the prime minister shook hands with the reporter and left. Faking News reporter next tried to get an interview with the army chief and was denied citing security reasons.