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Parts of US colder than Mars, Pakistan sends astronauts to US as Mars mission

08, Jan 2014 By idiot420

Islamabad, Pakistan. Capitalizing on record dip in North America’s temperature, Pakistan has sent two of its astronauts to US as part of their Mars mission. Pakistan took this initiative after it realized that some parts of US had become colder than Mars due to polar vortex.

Pakistan claims ‘Mars Fatah’ to be the cheapest ever Mars mission in history of human civilization.

“India’s Mars mission project cost is Rs 450 crore, while ours is mere Rs 4.5 lakh. And above that, India’s mission is unmanned while we are sending two of our men,” boasted Ali Pasha, chief of Pakistan’s space agency, SUPARCO.

Explaining project’s low cost, Ali Pasha revealed that SUPARCO sent the astronauts by a daily flight from Karachi to Chicago.

Mars Mission
An earlier attempt by Pakistan at Mars Mission

“We were under huge pressure to keep the project as economical as possible, so we gave our astronauts economy class tickets,” he added.

Astronauts were wearing space suits right from their home and kept it wearing even during flight. Lakhs of Pakistanis assembled at Karachi airport to wish them best of luck for their exploration. Besides carrying homemade food and pickles, they are also carrying blankets, extra sweaters, and mufflers, just in case space suit fails to guard them from cold.

After the flight landed, the Government of Pakistan declared that their astronauts had landed on Mars. While Pak gov claims that the mission was peaceful and successful, sources tell Faking News that there was a minor scuffle between the two astronauts as to who will put their feet down on ground first and get into history books.

As per SUPARCO insiders, astronauts have started sending images from Mars aka US on WhatsApp. While exploring they have found presence of water, oxygen and even McDonalds outlets.

“They have reported that they saw few aliens looking like humans, except one, who was looking like Lady Gaga,” disclosed an insider, “Our astronauts have also revealed that Mars gravity is same as that of Earth and it was an American hoax that it’s less than that of Earth.”

Reportedly, they are even planning to kill a few people and explode RDX as part of their experiment to analyze if it is possible to take terrorism to a universal level.

Meanwhile, success of ‘Mars Fatah’ has resulted into huge celebration across whole Pakistan. Our sources say that in over excitement Pak army even opened fire on LOC. If Pakistani news channels are to be believed, a local film studio has even announced a movie on ‘Mars Fatah’, in which they will show Pak astronauts’ in war with ‘Mangalyaan’ on Mars.

India has not reacted to the developments in the neighborhood but it has attracted some political reactions. AAP has congratulated Pakistan on an aam aadmi Mars mission while BJP has asked the UPA government to declare a war on Pakistan before it goes full crazy.

Sources say that Congress is closely studying this whole idea of how the aam aadmi in Pakistan was fooled, while Mulayam Singh Yadav has ordered his 20 MLAs, who are on study tour of Europe, to include US in their itinerary.

“We care for pride of our country; do ka jawaab bees se denge,” said Mulayam.