Islamabad. Shocked by the counter offensive from BSF troops in Samba sector of J&K that killed 4 of their army personnel, a terrified Pakistan has decided to immediately wave white flags after violating ceasefire in future.
“We are not used such retaliations by India at all. So we were naturally taken in by surprise the other day. Henceforth we plan to be more proactive and careful,” as ISI official told Faking News.
When asked why don’t they just stop ceasefire violations once and for all, he claimed that they have become addicted to it just like sponsoring terrorism.
Now as per the new plan of Pakistan, they would violate ceasefire, fire at Indian jawans, and immediately wave white flags before India starts retaliating.
This step is expected to work better than the bulletproof vests they bought from China.
“Contrary to whatever Shahid Afridi has to say, I think Indians (in particular their army and BSF) are quite large hearted and still get emotional and humane at times. We intend to exploit this weakness of theirs. I am sure once we wave white flags, they will stop and wont retaliate at all,” explained a confident sounding Pak army official, pointing to the latest incident where BSF stopped firing and allowed Pak to lift dead bodies of their soldiers.
A fresh stock of arms white flags has been ordered by Pakistan and it will be mandatory for Pakistani soldiers to carry one flag along with whatever arms and ammunition they are carrying. A Chinese company has already started making white flags.
Pakistan army however understands that carrying white flags, that too Made in China, alone doesn’t minimize all the risk.
“Since we are slaughteroholics and carry out our operations even during night, there is definitely a risk of India not being able to see the white flags waved by our jawans,” revealed a Pak ranger, “Or the color peels off due to bad quality.”
“So as a back up, our soldiers will also be carrying happydent gums and will wave their teeth after chewing them, in case white flags are not visible,” he went on to disclose.