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Pakistan renames one of its provinces as Kashmir, attacks it and wins it

01, May 2014 By idiot420

Lahore. In an out of the box solution to the Kashmir issue, Pakistan government renamed one of their province, Jalulistan, to Jammu and Kashmir, and then attacked and conquered it.

Frustrated with the long agonizing wait to get the real Kashmir, government’s decision came as a respite to the whole nation of Pakistan, including natives of Jalulistan.

Pakistan
Pakistan government has appealed to people of Jalulistan to maintain peace and called the attack a routine drone attacks.

However, initially Jalulistanis were indeed shocked to see their own army bombing the province, but they didn’t mind it once they came to know that they were no longer Jalulistanis.

“By the time the bombings began, they had already renamed our province to Indian occupied Kashmir. As a result, we were kind of happy that we, the Indians, were getting bombed to make Kashmir a part of Pakistan,” said an excited Jalulistani, wiping the blood coming out of his forehead.

Sources tell Faking News that Pakistan army faced a little bit of opposition from some terrorists, who started infiltrating into Jalulistan as soon as it was been renamed to Kashmir.

“These terrorists are brainwashed to infiltrate into Kashmir. So, when they heard of a new Kashmir, they just couldn’t stop themselves,” said an officer of Pakistani army on the condition of anonymity.

But sources reveal that a section of Pakistani government and the ISI is still supporting the terrorists in the newly formed Jammu and Kashmir.

“They too are brainwashed. Will take some time to adjust to the new realities. They have been doing this for ages, and they don’t know what to do other than planning Kashmir based missions,” revealed a highly placed source from across the border.

“We expect withdrawal symptoms and some casualties due to boredom,” the source added.

As per insiders, some of the over excited officers of Pakistani army were even ready to nuke Jalulistan.

“It was an opportune moment for them to live their dream of dropping a nuclear bomb; so what if their target was their own country. But later, they mellowed down and consoled themselves with a few missiles only,” disclosed a Pakistan army insider.

Meanwhile, Pakistan government has requested India to rename the real Jammu and Kashmir to something else, as this will help Pakistan adjust to the new reality faster than feared.