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Pakistan releases list of 5 persons for whose actions state would be responsible

10, May 2011 By Pagal Patrakar

Islamabad, Pakistan. Frustrated with international community, which has been consistently blaming Pakistan for the deeds of “non-state actors”, Pakistan has officially released a list of “state actors” that contains names of 5 individuals. Pakistan has clarified that anyone not listed will henceforth be a “non-state actor” and Pakistani state won’t be responsible for the deeds those folks.

The list contains the names of the President, the Prime Minister, the Army Chief, and two nominated members that the President would choose from his discretion.

Asif Ali Zardari
President Zardari showing a non-state actor

“Except for the actions of these five, please stop blaming Pakistan for any bullshit any other person commits in public life,” President Asif Ali Zardari declared to the international community. Zardari has nominated a retired havildar of Karachi and his chartered accountant to be the on the list of “state actors”.

With no cricketer, any member of the judiciary, or Veena Malik on the list, many people in Pakistan have expressed shock and surprise over the development, but the list has been largely welcomed by the intelligentsia.

“Given the kind of resources that we have, I guess monitoring more than five persons could have been tricky. I’m happy that the government didn’t go all gung ho and released a list containing the whole ISI machinery and the identities of the secret intelligence agents,” Nadeem, a Pakistani journalist said.

As always, India has ungraciously rejected the step as “meaningless” and asked Pakistan to take concrete steps to curb terrorist and criminal activities emanating from its soil.

However Pakistan has claimed that it was doing better than India as the Indian list had just two names – Sonia Gandhi and Rahul Gandhi. A Pakistani official claimed that the list was released by Digvijay Singh, former CM of Indian state of Madhya Pradesh, and emailed to Zardari last night.

Congress has distanced itself from the alleged list created by Digvijay Singh, though the party has not openly rejected it.