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Paki group requests ICC to make India play against Arab countries, so that they can live as Arabs

01, Mar 2015 By manithan

Islamabad: A Pakistani group Al-Bakistan has conveyed their emotional message to ICC to schedule cricket matches between India and countries of the Middle East, so that they can live as Arabs.

Al-Bakistani chief from Multan
Al-Bakistani chief from Multan

Speaking to our correspondent, one person of the group Abbas, said, “We are not dejected by our Pakistan Cricket team losing matches in this world cup, but we are more dejected by India winning matches. PCB lodged a letter to add the runs scored in replay. But, what to do, if we cannot win even after that? We tried to shift our ideology from being an ‘anti-Indian’ Pakistani to ‘anti-Indian’ South African. Believe me, that whole week sucked. How can we support a kafir country like South Africa? But, thankfully, we had two of our momins playing there. So, we got down and campaigned heavily for South Africa. We started calling Turban as Durban. We renamed Karachi to Cape of Good Dope. We even called our Musharaf bhai as Mandela, since he is also on his way for long jail term. And, with our high hopes on South Africa, we watched their match against India last week. And, as usual, they lost to India. There is a big conspiracy here.”

Abbas broke down and he was consoled by his friend Rizvi. Rizvi continued from there, “It was when we friends began an online campaigning. We were too offended to follow any country that is going to play against India in this Pool. Apart from Pakistan, none of the other playing countries are holy lands. And, it is a big abomination to espouse such kafir nations. That is why, we have requested ICC to include Middle East countries into a separate pool and move India to that pool. We can have Saudi, Kuwait, Yemen, Oman, Dawlat, Turkey apart from the current team of UAE. Believe me or not, our fellow group members in Pakistan are too happy to support UAE.”

Abbas dried his tears and continued, “Yes! Ever since South Africa lost, we immediately burnt those jerseys and started dreaming about being an Arab for a week.I started dressing like Arabs. I even thrashed my car driver and servant. We lived as Arabs and supported UAE till this Saturday. But  now we have to move to Ireland and West Indies. Gosh! That is terrible. It will be like stepping out of a beautiful dreamland. Since we want to live like Arabs, we therefore warn ICC to pit India against Middle East countries. If not, then we will destroy all TV sets and ICC will loose its TRP.”

Before leaving the place, Rizvi emotionally said, “It is the dream of every Al-Bakistani to live a grand life like Arabs. UAE playing against India gave us that chance. Even though UAE lost against India, we don’t worry about that. Because, they gave us an excellent chance to live our dream life.”