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Kashmir issue resolved as impressed by Modi's talk on Gujarat Model, Nawaz shifts focus from Kashmir to Gujarat

27, May 2014 By idiot420

New Delhi. In the biggest diplomatic coup ever, Prime Minister Narendra Modi has claimed that the Kashmir issue was resolved on the first day of his taking charge of office.

According to sources, Modi kept on talking about “Gujarat Model” during his high profile meeting with Nawaz Sharif. Impressed by his talk, Pakistan PM decided to shift his country’s focus from Jammu & Kashmir to Gujarat, which ultimately resulted into Kashmir issue being resolved.

Modi Nawaz Sharif
Mission accomplished.

“The issue always was Pakistan’s obsession with Kashmir. Now their obsession is gone. Now they are interested in Gujarat,” a press release from the PMO claimed.

Addressing the India media, Nawaz Sharif later thanked Narendra Modi for making him aware of the growth and development in Gujarat.

“The earlier UPA government fooled us into believing that there was nothing exceptional about Gujarat, and we too only talked about riots. But today, Mr. Modi opened my eyes,” Nawaz Sharif said to a shocked group of mediapersons.

“Today, I realized that the real jannat is in Gujarat, not in Kashmir,” he went on to declare the change in Kashmir centric policy of Pakistan vis a vis India.

Sources tell Faking News that Modi has also gifted Nawaz Sharif a 500 GB hard disk full of data about Gujarat’s growth and development.

While BJP is claiming that Modi wave has reached Pakistan, Congress has criticized Modi’s move and called it a dangerous precedent set by the new government.

“That’s why we always aimed for lesser development,” claimed Congress leader Digvijay Singh, “With neighbors like Saeed Ji and Bangladeshi brothers, there is always a risk of infiltration in border areas if they are more developed than conjoining areas in Pakistan or Bangladesh.”

AAP leaders too have reiterated their stand on Gujarat development and Kashmir.

“Pakistan should realize that the Gujarat Model is a hoax,” said AAP leader Prashant Bhushan, also an expert on Kashmir related issues, “Also, Mr. Nawaz Sharif should first hold referendum in Kashmir to ask the local population if they want Pakistan to stop looking at them.”

Rejecting criticisms, BJP has repeated that this was a masterstroke by Modi, which has solved the Kashmir issue as well as the problem of infiltration.

“Infiltrating the borders in Gujarat will be tougher for Pakistani terrorists than infiltrating in Kashmir, where they take advantage of hilly terrain,” Finance cum Defense Minister Arun Jaitley explained.

Surprisingly, this sudden change in Pakistan’s foreign policy has been welcomed by the extremist groups in Pakistan.

“I have seen pictures of Gujarat on that haraam website Facebook, it looks like America,” JuD chief Hafiz Saeed said, “Attacking Gujarat would be like destroying India and US at the same time. This is awesome! Death to the infidels!”