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Italy asks its troops to be ready for strong unhappiness by India

11, Mar 2013 By Pagal Patrakar

Rome, Italy. Anticipating a strong wave of “unhappiness”, “discomfort” and “objections” from India after they refused to send the marines back, Italy has asked its citizens and armed forces to be ready to deal with any such eventuality.

“We have ordered millions of earplugs, oil, cleaning buds, dark glasses, chewing gum, and similar artillery to deal with the massive verbal onslaught that we expect India to unleash upon us,” Giampaolo di Paola, the Defense Minister of Italy revealed.

Cover your ears
An Italian kid rehearsing the official steps suggested by the government to deal with the Indian attack

Reports say that before taking the decision of not sending back the marines, accused of killing Indian fishermen, the government of Italy had called a top level meeting where they concluded that Italy must be ready to face the consequences.

“Half of our worries were taken care of as we don’t play cricket,” an official in the Foreign Ministry of Italy told Faking News, “The only big threat remaining was India expressing strong disapproval.”

Sources reveal that top management of Ferrari was also called in by the Italian government to know how they dealt with the “strong objections” by the government of India when the car manufacturing company had decided to show support for the accused Italian marines during the Indian Grand Prix four months back.

“Ferrari officials first laughed, and then told us to ‘chill’, but when we insisted, they told us to make sure that we just nod our heads when India registers a strong protest, but not to laugh audibly as this could cause a prolonged session of protest,” an Italian source claimed.

Latest reports confirm that the government of Italy was already practicing the “counter offensive”.

“India and Italy are matured nations. We respect India as the largest democracy of the world and an emerging superpower. We hope this matter will be resolved amicably,” Giulio Terzi Sant’Agata, the Foreign Minister of Italy said without giggling or smiling even for a second.

Back home, the government of India was trying to find the ‘register’ button online to register a strong protest.