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Indians tempted as Gaddafi offers cheap petrol in return for safe haven

16, Sep 2011 By Pagal Patrakar

New Delhi. Millions of Indian citizens were thrilled no end at the prospect of getting petrol at cheaper rates when Libya’s beleaguered leader Muammar Gaddafi offered to do so if India provided asylum to him and his family.

Gaddafi, who is battling to survive as rebels are running all over Libya, is reported to have taken a cue from Osama Bin Laden, who was given shelter in Abbottabad by Pakistan, apparently in return for millions of dollars of Saudi cash.

“Colonel Gaddafi still controls the oil fields in Libya and he is willing to supply petrol and diesel at really cheap rates to India if Indians promise to protect him and his family,” a press release issued by the Gaddafi’s loyalists read.

Gaddafi
According to a report, most Indians had similar expression on their faces when they heard about the latest rise in petrol prices.

“If you protect our leader, petrol will not cost more than 10 rupees a liter in your country,” the press release offered the bait.

With petrol prices going up by 3.14 rupees last night and going over 70 rupees per liter in many cities, this offer sounded too good to refuse for millions of Indian citizens, who were busy either reworking their household budget or cracking jokes on Pi (π).

“Gaddafi belongs to the minority community and he should be protected,” argued Chandra Shekhar, who had been accusing all Muslims of being involved in terrorism till last night.

“This is India’s golden chance to become the world superpower; we must protect a progressive leader like Gaddafi,” argued Shashank, who had widely shared a Faking News report satirizing a left leaning JNU student a couple of days back on Facebook.

While Shashank dodged questions on his ideology, a group of left leaning JNU students had already sat on a dharna demanding asylum to Gaddafi, whom they hailed for having heroically fought against the western imperialist and capitalist forces in the past.

“Fuck it man, who cares; let’s get that petrol at 10 rupees per liter,” Shashank yielded and disclosed his beliefs and ideology, which found resonance with an overwhelming majority of Indians.

According to experts, Arundhati Roy could be the only Indian citizen who might oppose asylum to Gaddafi. “She might have supported the idea if others were overwhelmingly opposed to it,” an expert said.

With such an overwhelming support to Gaddafi, the central government is reportedly in a fix as it doesn’t want the ghosts of “oil for food” scam to come back, while the BJP is waiting for the government to announce its intentions before opposing the same.

“What the hell man! Why can’t they decide fast?” an angry citizen said, “Let them close the deal before Pakistan accepts it; they already have a cricket stadium named after him.”

Pagal Patrakar