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India Pakistan to work out a joint scam to boost bilateral ties

10, Feb 2011 By Pagal Patrakar

New Delhi. India and Pakistan would soon carry out a joint scam and loot millions of dollars from their respective national treasuries to boost bilateral ties. Governments on both sides of the border believe that such a step would improve people-to-people contact across the border at “no extra cost”.

“Scams would anyway happen, right?” a spokesman in the Indian Ministry of External Affairs argued why there were no additional costs involved, “Currently they are somewhat bringing all the Indians together who feel cheated by the loot. We believe that if both the countries carry out a joint loot, it might bring many Indians and Pakistanis together as well.”

Manmohan Singh and Asif Ali Zardari
Pakistani President Asif Ali Zardari was reportedly too excited and wanted to start the joint exercise in corruption as soon as possible, even as the Indian Prime Minister Manmohan Singh waited for approval from the high command

Officials from Pakistan too have confirmed that their country was eagerly looking forward to such a joint scam, which could work far better than Indian and Pakistani artists performing together at music and cultural concerts.

“All these Ghazal nights and tabla jugalbandi is fine, but at the end of the day it doesn’t achieve anything political,” said the Pakistani Foreign Ministry official, “Some private media companies end up making money in name of promoting peace, so we thought it was high time we government guys made some money as well from peace initiatives.”

Officials claimed that apart from the formal diplomatic initiatives between the two countries, attempts such as Cricket diplomacy and other forms of Track II diplomacy, such as Sania Mirza and Veena Malik initiatives, had failed to improve Indo-Pak ties, and hence the only option left was to try “scam diplomacy”.

Experts in both countries have largely welcomed the move, and have hoped that the citizens of both the countries would benefit from it. Scamsters on both sides of border too are very happy.

“I was a bit concerned when they were talking about importing onions into India when I was selling them at 80 rupees per kilo,” Sharad Prasad, a hoarder and black marketer said, “Now we can cooperate with our brothers in Pakistan and make sure the prices never come down.”

Sources indicate both the governments have also planned to blame each other for the “domestic scams” if the joint scam brings the people too close to each other, thus threatening “regional stability”.

“Just imagine Lashkar taking responsibility for the 2G scam,” an official in the telecom ministry said.