Islamabad. Impressed with birds’ ability of target shitting, the Chairman of PPP, Bilawal Bhutto is planning to train pigeons and use them as drone for target bombing on India.
The out of the box idea triggered in Bilawal’s mind while he was trying to learn how to tweet using a sparrow.
During the process, the frustrated sparrow flew in air, chased him, and shitted exactly at center of his head.
Bilawal was so mesmerized by the bird’s ability of shitting accurately that he asked his aides to get a trained pigeon to repeat the act few more times. He made the pigeon shit on his head while he was running and hiding under a tree. And he was impressed when the shit happened.
“That was an eureka moment for me as I had found a much cheaper alternative of drones,” said a jubilant Bilawal Bhutto adding that shits always used to inspire him, “I knew that one day it will help me to achieve something worthwhile. This is a small but very crucial step towards my bigger aim – that is to take back Kashmir from India.”
Bilawal also took potshot at India, again, for claiming to organize the cheapest Mars Mission.
“Innovation is not what India is doing, innovation is what I am doing. Besides being cost effective, it’s even environment friendly. Just imagine, to drop the bombs we will not be using fighter planes, that means saving lot of fuel and less pollution,” he continued.
Bilawal is hoping to make an army of pigeons trained to drop bombs.
“As their physical strength is limited, we will be making cracker sized bombs weighing just a few grams but deadly like my speeches. Or if required, they will be dropping especially designed crackers capable of blowing off like a hand grenade,” explained the young and bright leader.
Sources tell Faking News that trained birds will be following “shit at sight” order once they are in Indian territory.
Meanwhile, taking cue from Bilawal’s initiative, Pakistani terror outfits have started brainwashing and training pigeons to make them fidaayeen bird bombs.