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Hafiz Saeed promises to 'Work From Home' after Pakistan puts him under house arrest

31, Jan 2017 By sagarcasm

Lahore: Hafiz Saeed, the man who likes to have a blast on everyone’s birthday, has declared that he will not use his house arrest as an excuse to take a break from his work and he has promised that he will continue to work from home. Hafiz Saeed announced it after Pakistani officials ordered his detention in Lahore last night.

Hafiz Saeed
A terrorist is never off duty!

“I would love to terrorize from home”, Hafiz said in a video that went viral on Whatsapp. “Since the Indian Intelligence agencies are trying to locate us, we had to shift our base practically every week. I was so tired of these ever changing work locations. Plus the roads in Pakistan are terrible. It is always better to work from home. It will also give me a better terror-life balance.”

He further said, “I can easily communicate with fellow terrorists via skype. We can discuss when and where to place the bombs. I will guide the juniors on usage of various other weapons, like guns and rifles. Demonstration of suicide bombing will be a challenge. I might have to sacrifice one of the security guards outside my home for practical lessons.”

Terrorists all over the globe are fascinated by the idea of working from home. Employees of various terrorists’ organizations are now demanding ‘terrorize from home’ facility. Top management of these organizations fear a drop in productivity because of the distractions at home and lack of professional environment.

Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, the CEO of ISIS, expressed his displeasure towards Hafiz Saeed via social networking website Twitter. He tweeted, “Hafiz is setting a wrong example for the coming generations. Working from home is against our culture. #UnprofessionalHafiz.” This tweet was retweeted by over 50,000 people and the hashtag  #UnprofessionalHafiz trended on number 1 position worldwide.