Washington DC: American President Donald Trump’s war with intelligence agencies reached a dramatic end today when President Trump decided to disband Central Intelligence Agency (CIA). Addressing the media at the White House, President Trump said that since CIA is a dinosaur who doesn’t even know how to plug the leaks in their system, they must go. He also added that he will be getting all the intelligence inputs from his WhatsApp inbox where he receives forwarded messages about every country in the world.
Speaking to the press, President Trump said ,”This is just me saving Billions of Dollars right here. CIA was draining us financially without providing great intelligence. Yesterday I got a WhatsApp message about ISIS from a friend, a very good friend, a friend who is very smart, great guy, great great guy, and CIA had no information about that news. When I am going to get intelligence from WhatsApp then why do we need CIA? It is just common sense to disband them.”
“The press, not the good press but all the fake news channels, has a problem with me getting my information from Fox News or Alt-Right websites. So I won’t be relying on them anymore, I will be using WhatsApp which is owned by Facebook. Now Facebook is liberal, we all know that so they can’t criticize my choice now. WhatsApp’s encryption also looks very reliable so there won’t be any leaks either. This will be a great arrangement, fantastic arrangement, and it will be free”, President Trump added.
When a reporter asked who will verify the authenticity of the information on WhatsApp, President Trump said ,”Just because you are liars who print fake news, do you think everyone is lying out there? I believe everyone in my contact list is a great person, they will never lie to me.”
President Trump refused to confirm or deny when someone asked him if Russian President Putin is the only contact saved in his phone.