New Delhi/Dhaka. Bangladesh police, which has to do boring jobs like preventing bloggers from committing suicide by running into the knives being held in the hands of innocent and peaceful men, has decided to do some real work. Since crime has dipped in their own country, they are now eyeing some role in India.
Sources tell Faking News that many policemen have resigned from their jobs and are now trying to cross border into India to join the police force here. We spoke to an anonymous Bangladeshi immigrant, who identified himself as an ex-policeman. We met over a cup of chai in Kolkata.
We asked him about his reason for leaving the job. He said, “It was a hard decision. But, we are not getting any cases filed in our stations for the past few years. Crime rates are getting reduced. Nobody is stealing, nobody is vandalizing, nobody is making or planting bombs, nobody is rioting. Because of this, we were trying to pass time by playing Candy Crush and hide-and-seek in empty cells. Looks like every criminal from Bangladesh had infiltrated into India. Even last month, some of our criminals vandalized a Church here and also got protection from intellectuals. When you can do crime and also get protection, which criminal will not want to commit more crime in such a country? Clearly we will have a more relevant role in India.”
Sipping some chai, he continued, “I find a bright future for me and my sons here. We will have good times as police here. Our knowledge of those Bangladeshi criminals, who are now active in West Bengal and other places, can help India. I’m sure West Bengal police will induct me soon, unless intellectuals oppose the move.”
Before leaving, we asked him that one intriguing question about persecution of Hindus in Bangladesh. He laughed and said, “These are all lies spread by RSS and Mukti Bahini. Actually, Hindus are majority there and they are driving out the poor Muslims like me from there.”
After his last statement, sources say that the Bangladesh policeman is poised to get intellectual support and find a job in India.