Saturday, 29th October, 2016

Chinese Premier Wen Jiabao wanted his own IPL team

20, Dec 2010 By Rahul Saraf

New Delhi. The recent provocations by China over Sino-Indian border might be in retaliation to India’s refusal to allow Chinese Premier Wen Jiabao to have his own IPL team. Sources indicate that while on his official visit to India a couple of days back, Wen Jiabao had expressed his interest in owning an IPL team even as Indian authorities remained noncommittal over the issue.

Wen is reported to have reasoned that the IPL was symbolic of a few people calling the shots according to their whims and fancies, something which was synonymous with Chinese customs.

Even though Indian authorities tried to explain that IPL teams must be owned by Indians, Wen remained adamant and disclosed that it was “too late” for him to change his mind as he had already thought things to the minutest of details.

Umpire Wen
Wen Jiabao also expressed his interest in umpiring in some of the IPL matches and said he had been practicing the art for some time now

“I have plans of including Yu Suf Pathan, Yu Vraj Singh and T Tsu Man in my team,” Wen detailed out his IPL strategy, “The team would have Yan A Gupta as the brand ambassador.” He even disclosed his plans of hiring “Yindoo” leader Pramod Muthalik as her underwear supplier (after the stock he gathered following the Pink Chaddi campaign).

“What synergy – Yana and Yindoo – the IPL Yin and Yang,” Wen grinned, before he started blushing.

When asked how the catchment area would be defined for China, Wen took the help of statistics to explain the composition of his team. He rationalized that approximately 33% of the world population was Chinese, which made every third person in this world a Chinese. So he logically concluded that he would include Suresh Raina, Gautam Gambhir, Kumara Sangakkara and other batsmen who batted one-down in IPL in his team.

Wen also said that having Chinese sponsors would reduce the time for advertisements. Replacing the Maxx Mobile strategic time-outs with some Chinese Mobile strategic Time-outs would be good for the game, as the Chinese mobiles would never last for the full duration of two and a half minutes.

Wen refused to take Rahul Dravid in his team as there can not be two Great Walls of China.

After Wen’s insistence, his proposal was taken to Indian Prime Manmohan Singh, who expressed his displeasure at the news, although he reluctantly discussed some issues related to Cricket.

“I didn’t know Cricket was on his mind. I thought Wen Jiabao would bring a welcome relief to the people in India,” Prime Minister Singh said, “We were tired of making jokes on ‘Hu’ only (like Hu is the leader of China) and ‘Wen’ gave us the opportunity of coming up with something new.”

He winked and quickly added, “Wen in India. He did as the Indians do.”

Manmohan Singh and Wen Jiabao
The real fall-out between the two Prime Ministers began when they began arguing what would be the correct way of giving two batsmen out in one delivery