Beijing, China. This is an opportunity Iceland can barely afford to miss, and it comes at a time when the country is going through economic crisis and volcanic eruptions. A Chinese aphrodisiac products company has announced its intentions to sell packaged volcanic ash, claiming that it can treat erectile dysfunction and boost sex drive among the human beings. The company plans to buy fresh volcanic ashes from Eyjafjallajökull.
“Our R&D department has found out that volcanic ash can help people with stronger ejaculations during intercourse and can even treat impotency.” Chin Chengdu, CEO of the Chinese company Yinyang Health Products Limited said. “Elements of vigor and ejaculation are inherent in the nature of volcanoes and our products would transfer the same to the human bodies.” Chengdu explained.
Yinyang Health Products Limited has already written a letter to the Prime Minister of Iceland Ms. Jóhanna Sigurðardóttir in this regard, seeking permission and a contractual agreement for exclusive buying rights of the volcanic ash of Eyjafjallajökull.
Experts believe that the company could get the required permission as Iceland is yet to recover from the acute financial crisis of last year, which saw it becoming the first sovereign nation to go bankrupt. Furthermore, Prime Minister Jóhanna is a left-leaning politician and she could be seen as willing to enter into political and business relations with a communist China.
“But we are not sure if her sexual preferences and beliefs could come in the way.” said an expert on Iceland-China affairs, adding, “she is the first openly gay (lesbian) head of any government and we don’t know if her gay and feminist views could stop her from promoting a sex drug, which is often seen as a manifestation of male libido and chauvinism.”
But Yinyang Health Products has expressed confidence that economic needs will prevail over socio-political beliefs of Ms. Jóhanna, as has been the case in most of the societies including China. The company is planning to use Tiger Woods videos for promotion of their volcanic ash sex drug.
“We would download videos from the internet and use Chinese script and voice over.” Chin Chengdu explained the marketing strategy, denying any plans to officially rope in Tiger Woods for endorsements.
The drug is expected to be a hit in the Chinese markets as sex drugs have been traditionally quite popular there. People have tried stuffs like seahorses, deer antlers, tiger bones, and even ox penises before.