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After constantly losing "National Spelling Bee" to Indian origin kids, US looking for a new national language

30, May 2014 By idiot420

New York. Dominance of Indian-American kids in Scripps National Spelling Bee has generated a lack of confidence among US citizens regarding their proficiency over their own national language, as a result of which US government is seriously considering options to change national language from English to something else.

“The way Indians are recklessly winning the National Spelling Bee, it appears, the competition is being conducted in Hindi or some other Indian language. US kids are almost clueless on their home turf,” said US President Barack Obama in his reaction after declaration of Spelling Bee 2014 winners.

Spelling Bee
“Bro, English is much easier than Tamil.”

To mellow down the humiliation which Americans are facing, Government is looking for alternatives, like a completely new language.

“As of now, ‘Valyrian’ is the front runner to replace English, and many Americans know it quite well because of Game of Thrones,” Obama added further.

Experts believe that local kids have lost interest in anything mainstream and they are looking for something newer and cooler.

“English is so widely spoken that there is no exclusiveness left with it. Most probably kids are looking for some outlandish language to learn. Keeping that in mind, declaration of Valyrian as national language and organizing National Spelling Bee in Valyrian could help US kids to regain the lost ground,” explained Andrew James, an expert of US culture.

It appears, many of US kids agree with Andrew James’ point of view. “Albalacha utrabhi anbanachi anglesachi commeneri ghut ghut,” said a 15 year old US kid speaking in a language created by himself.

Later, his mother Rachelle translated that to English. He meant,”English is out of fashion, let Asians follow that.” Adding further, Rachelle expressed how much Americans are afraid of Asians learning their culture.

“They are coming, memorizing and conquering. The intensity at which they are pushing themselves at everything American is terrifying. It’s better for us to shift to something else,” said Rachelle.

However, sources within the government disclosed that by introducing a completely new national language, Obama wants to offer Americans a fresh start, so that they could excel in that.

Meanwhile, unperturbed by US intentions, Indian American kids have started learning words of Valyrian to make themselves ready for National Spelling Bee 2015.