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Yahoo elevates random Indian techie as their new CEO

13, Aug 2015 By @jurnoleast

California: Closely following developments of its rivals Microsoft and Google, tech giant Yahoo today announced that a ‘random Indian techie’ would be their new CEO.

Yahoo,  just keeping up with the times.
Yahoo, just keeping up with the times.

Apparently, the top management at Yahoo was of the opinion that the current CEO Marissa Mayers needs to be replaced to keep up with the times. With Indians dominating top positions at tech companies, Yahoo too needed an Indian CEO.

“The company needs a new face. Just like how we change wallpaper on our laptops, we need to change our CEO,” said a 75 year old Alan Smith even as he was taking instructions from his secretary on how to turn off his laptop.

The man chosen to do the job is 35 year old Suresh Sundaram, who has been working with Yahoo for the last 12 years. Speaking to Faking News from his new corner office at Yahoo headquarters he said, “I am very happy to be given the responsibility of a CEO. It is a proud moment for me and my fellow Indians. However it would be unfair to attribute my success to my Indian roots. I have worked hard to reach where I am today. I believe it’s my loyalty that has paid off. At a time when everyone switched to Gmail, I was still using yahoo mail. Even though I was the only one using Yahoo messenger, I never even once thought that I should switch to Gtalk. So I don’t think anyone should doubt my appointment.”

Indian media as usual went berserk finding all possible Indian connections to Suresh’s journey from a coder to a CEO. From his first line of code to ‘how good was he as a student in school’, everything related to the new CEO made headlines.

Meanwhile, markets reacted sharply to this new development. Yahoo shares jumped 10% on NASDAQ with investors happy with the development. “I don’t care what products and services are in the pipeline for Yahoo. All I want is an Indian heading the company,” said a visibly happy investor.