New Delhi. In a move widely condemned by women who like to keep tabs on their partners, namely all women, Whatsapp has enabled users to hide their Last Seen timestamp across all platforms.
Irate female protesters were seen staging dharna at Jantar Mantar holding placards saying ‘Right To Spy’ and wearing Anna-styled ‘Main Hoon NSA’ caps. A visibly angry participant shouted, “Normally, I would take his case if he were online and not talking to me. It was like a Tom & Jerry game, except I caught him every time! This blatant return of privacy is completely unexpected, especially from Zuckerberg!”
In a one-off case, Rahul Gandhi’s monotonous agenda of women empowerment has found resonance with the cause, resulting in critics having a tough time finding the lack of relevance in his speeches. “Women empowerment is crucial for our country. Even in our government, a lady keeps constant watch over the PM’s activities. To counter this move by Whatsapp, we will soon be launching the Rajiv Gandhi Aakhiri Samay Suchak Yojana,” said the 43-yr old youth leader.
Meanwhile, males across the country have reportedly been cheering for the man who has brought about this revolutionary change in their life. “First, Juckerberg bhai made Facebook profile pictures public by default, thereby enabling us to use social media better for.. erm.. research purposes. This new step of removing the timestamp has also provided some breathing space in our lives to concentrate on our research,” a relieved reveler said.
Mukesh, 21, an innocent victim who was beaten up by his girlfriend for not replying despite seeing her message was located by our FN team at the local hospital. On being asked about Last Seen, he managed to say, “The only Last Scene I remember is her pulverizing me into the floor for not replying in time” before passing out again.
iPhone owners have meanwhile grabbed the opportunity to mock Android users about the feature being already available on iOS. “iPhones are always at the cutting edge of technology, after cutting a hole in your pocket. This is one of the many small things that justify my unreasonable purchase of Rs. 60,000 despite seemingly inferior specs,” he said before proceeding to flirt with Siri.
The reaction of Nokia users was not a lot, like the number of apps they have.
This reporter tried his best to locate Blackberry owners to elicit comments, but could not find any by the time of going to press.