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USGS recruits Sakshi Maharaj as a honorary scientist after he predicted the cause for earthquakes

29, Apr 2015 By manithan

Reston. United States Geological Survey (USGS), which religiously records the occurrence of Earthquake across the world has hit its lottery in India. It has shocked the entire India by recruiting Sakshi Maharaj as one of its topmost scientist.

Speaking to Faking News, USGS Director, Mr. Smith, said, “We had been spending all our time and efforts in tracking even minute earthquakes across the world and recording them in our website. It is a heavy task and it involves lot of spending from the US Government. Not only this, worldwide, all the countries are spending heavily on trying to invent a system that could predict Earthquakes. But till now, nobody could predict an earthquake and it has been an unsolved enigma for geologists like us.”

Not seismograph, but the heartrate of BJP top brass, whenever Sakshi Maharaj opens his mouth.
Not seismograph, but the heartrate of BJP top brass, whenever Sakshi Maharaj opens his mouth.

“What mathematicians and scientists and super computers could not decode, a politician from India has done it successfully. We knew that India boasts of its achievements in science, they even sent cheapest mission to Mars. But, we did not expect a politician to be our best find,” paused Smith.

He then showed us photo of Sakshi Maharaj in his smartphone and continued, “According to news reports, this brilliant politician has found out that Nepal Earthquake occurred due to an another politician called Rahul Gandhi visiting a Hindu temple. That sounds exciting. We always thought that earthquakes happened due to fault lines, tectonic plates, stress at faults, etc. But, this is the first time, we heard that an earthquake can happen due to a person who ate beef visiting a holy place. Since we couldn’t achieve success with our conventional methodologies, we have decided to recruit Mr. Sakshi and provide him a honorary position for helping us in achieving the much awaited breakthrough in the field of seismology.”

When asked about the method, he said, “We will station our field geologists outside temples where Rahul Gandhi tries to enter. Once, he enters, we will find the countries that are in proximity to that worship place and alert those nations.”

When asked about the science behind it, he laughed and said, “Look at the recent earthquakes. Most of them happened in areas which were in proximity to places where Rahul Gandhi visited. Only Mr. Sakshi had the eye to such details. And that is why he has become our most reputed scientist.”