Friday, 24th November, 2017

Snippets

Tired of international tours, Modi plans first interstellar tour, PK’s secular planet to be visited first

13, Jun 2015 By Pagla Ghoda

New Delhi: Primer Minister’s Office (PMO) has tied up with Christopher Nolan’s space research team and requested the creation of a giant wormhole gateway which connects to the far side of galaxy. Using this gateway a 200 member delegation of PM Modi, Foreign Minister Sushma Swaraj, and various bureaucrats and media-persons will be visiting planet PXZE1729 for a tour to strengthen intergalactic relations. Since the speed of time is quite different at PXZE1729, the 200 member delegation will only spend 5 hours on the planet which is equivalent to 20 earth days.

Modi inquiring about PK from Aamir.
Modi inquiring about PK from Aamir.

PXZE1729, also referred to as “Gola” by India’s first alien contact PK, is actually PK’s home planet and one of the most secular known planets in the galaxy. At PXZE1729 there is no concept of religion or language and people usually stay united at all times, except when it comes to using their left hand or right hand. Actually whole population on PK’s planet is divided into two large factions of people. Ones who use right hand for all activities and ones who use left hand. Both right-handers and left-handers are constantly at war for supremacy over each other. People captured by a rival group are usually forcibly “converted” from right-wing guys to leftists and vice-versa. A very small minority called ambidextrous people are very rarely found on PXZE1729 and are not much liked by either of the large factions.

Other than these hand-fanatic faction which brutally fight and kill each other PXZE1729 is uber-secular with no active temples or shrines, and much to the horror of India’s secular media no mosques at all. Except there are some ancient temples on PXZE1729, one of which PM Modi plans to visit and offer prayers during his 5 hour trip to the planet.

While international media is quite amazed by the first interstellar travel ever by any prime minister from planet Earth, some of secular liberal sections of Indian media are outraged by the fact that PM Modi will be offering prayers at a temple on PXZE1729. Hundreds of panel debates critiquing PMs actions have riveted the main-stream and social media. Some of the top news presenters of the country have even termed this action by PM as a super massive black hole in the otherwise secular space-time fabric of our galaxy.