Ludhiana. Amateur bike-stunts artist and beloved of his district’s teenage girls, Jaspreet Singh Joji has rubbished all claims that latest Japanese magnetic levitation (maglev) train is the fastest in the world. Jaspreet who is son-in-law of a local MLA even ridiculed Maglev’s designers for not investing time and money on making faster bikes and wasting funds on futile vehicles such as trains. Maglev which just clocked a speed of 603 KM/hr is the latest in the series of age-old Japanese infatuation with speedy trains.
Talking to reporters from leading newspapers such as Punjab Kesari and Amar Ujala, Jaspreet spoke fluently in English for a few minutes with a heavy Canadian-British accent, occasionally switching over to Australian accent for more emphasis on sporty phrases.
He said, “O paaji, if anyone in the world can beat saaddi bullet motorcycle in terms of speed, I swear on my bike I will never go to Ladakh on my bike again. I will also not touch nun-chucks in my life again. I have full confidence in this bult (bullet) bike. Once I consume 4-5 of “my” Patiala pegs (650+ ml of whiskey per peg) of Black Dog or Teachers then no one can stop me and my bult.”
Talking further about his bike-stunt related sports activities Jaspreet said, “Paaji me and my bullet together can do wonders. I can even drive with my legs on the handle, I can even change gears with my toes. I do regular bike stunt shows on every Saturday night on the express highway. Mah stunt video’s youtube hits have reached 23 K last week. Seeing all this tashan all the Kudiyan shudiyan of my district are madly in love with me, although I love only one girl, my wife.” Jaspreet said with a sense of pride an honor.
When he was told that Maglev train has actually been found to be the fastest in Japan, Jaspreet laughed mockingly for a few seconds and said, “O ji chotti jayi country hai ji Jappan, it’s a frigging small place brother. If you look for Japan in the oxford school atlas you may see a few dots printed besides China, that’s it. My father-in-law sir owns bigger farmlands in Ludhiana and Hoshiarpur than the whole surface area of Japan. Why do they even need these trains? Just give one bullet motorbike to each Japani, it won’t take them more than 10 minutes to reach from one corner of their country to the other.” Jaspreet concluded and roared his bullet bike engine for a few seconds before driving away at a high speed.
While Jaspreet’s statements are being loved by his fans and worshipers, a few politicians have condemned his acts as those promoting road-rage and irresponsible handling of vehicles on roads. It is also being rumored that Jaspreet and his bike will be exclusively featured in two music videos to be shot in New Zealand for his upcoming music album named “Mitran di bullet da vyah”.