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Nokia partners with BJP to come up with smartphones that won’t play porn clips

21, Mar 2012 By Pagal Patrakar

New Delhi. In an attempt to get back to the number one position in the mobile handset market, Nokia has partnered with BJP to come with special smartphones that wouldn’t play any porn clip or show “obscene” pictures. This was done after BJP MLAs in Gujarat were accused of watching porn on their iPad in the Assembly. Earlier, BJP MLAs in Karnataka were found watching porn on their mobile phones.

“Every BJP MLA and MP aspirant will have to compulsorily buy these handsets,” Rajesh Kumar, head of Nokia in India told Faking News about the partnerships, “Remember there were 55 candidates for CM’s post in Uttar Pradesh from BJP, and there are at least six candidates for PM’s post. Imagine the number of candidates for the post of MLA and MP across India! We hope to sell thousands of handsets.”

Nokia Lumia
Nokia Innocence - a clean and pure phone

BJP has confirmed the development and has said that the experience of BJP MLAs and Nokia engineers can be used to create a smartphone that keeps away from porn.

Earlier BJP had thought about making Nokia 1100 phones compulsory for its MLAs, but they realized that it was not enough.

“Next time some journalist may see our MLAs reading non-veg SMSes on Nokia 1100, and we’d be again embarrassed,” a BJP leader said, “That’s why we thought about a smartphone that detects porn, dirty pictures, and non-veg jokes, and stops them from being displayed.”

Engineers at Nokia have confirmed that they can create such a smartphone.

“The current generation in India has grown up on watching DPS MMS on Nokia handsets, and we have sufficient data on what constitutes porn or non-veg. We can use that data to make such smartphones for BJP members,” a Nokia engineer confidently claimed.

However, Nokia is confident that the new non-porn-playing smartphones would be bought by non-BJP people too.

“We are confident that Indian parents will buy these smartphones and gift it to their children for a perfect and pure moral upbringing,” Rajesh hoped, and projected huge sales of the latest smartphone, which they are planning to call Nokia Innocence.

“We will market it even more aggressively than Nokia Lumia,” the Nokia India head declared, “It will also be Windows based phone, but Windows will be automatically closed as soon as any porn clip file is accessed.”

“It follows the old age advice – close the doors and windows before watching porn,” Rajesh explained.

Pagal Patrakar