Sunday, 23rd April, 2017

Local IIT nerd spends entire day not recounting IIT experience

23, Sep 2009 By General Specific

Chennai. Several people went crazy with joy as local IIT Nerd Abhay Prakash S. spent an entire day of abstinence from recounting silly experiences from his time at IIT Madras (Metallurgical and Coconut Engineering Specialization). But their joy was short lived as Abhay ended his day of abstinence at 7.00 PM and promptly recounted a series of anecdotes filled with IIT slangs that none in his audience of neighborhood friends (and their parents) could follow.

These anecdotes were peppered with liberal references to his IIT preparation days and the numerous quirks he developed at that time. For instance, Abhay found it impossible to solve any mechanical physics problems related to inclined planes without being completely naked at the time. Subsequently, he was able to overcome this prerequisite by the use of mental visualization techniques which replaced the actual need to be nude.

An IIT nerd thinking how he can modify the auto-rickshaw
An IIT nerd thinking how he can modify the auto-rickshaw

Social Psephologist Yogi Yadav explains this phenomenon thus, “It is common for young 18-year-olds entering IITs to develop a retardation that does not allow their minds to develop beyond the emotional age of 15. Of course this does not come in the way of their performing normal day to day duties like analyzing traffic patterns, reading newspapers backwards, measuring the time it takes for a crow to fly from one telephone pole to the other and back repeatedly at varying velocities, applying arbitrary probability distributions to insignificant events like the arrival time of the milk man, and needlessly ogling at middle aged women. Sometimes it also includes other forms of idiosyncrasies like voting for the BJP.”

To mark the occasion of inaugural abstinence by Abhay, local Municipal leader A.X. Square inaugurated a coaching institute for IIT aspirants. Abhay Prakash S. displayed his brilliance once again, as he cut the ribbon at ten different points, where the gaps between the points represented the Fibonacci Series in centimeters.