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All Oxygen molecules in TN atmosphere to be stamped with Amma’s pic before they are inhaled by inhabitants

08, Dec 2015 By Pagla Ghoda

Tamil Nadu: In a revolutionary invention in field of Quantum Mechanics a senior research scientist Dr. M.N. Pillai has invented a way to capture oxygen atoms, ‘mark’ them with specific pictures and then release them back to the atmosphere.

Tamil Nadu people will now breathe Oxygen molecules stamped with Jayalalitha's pic
Tamil Nadu people will now breathe Oxygen molecules stamped with Jayalalitha’s pic

Dr. Pillai talked to media persons outside Amma’s residence and said, “Quantum Mechanics tells us that atoms and molecules are very small, but they are made up of protons and neutrons, which are further made up of elementary particles quarks and leptons. The angular arrangement of these particles relative to each other is called as quark–lepton complementarity (QLC). I have found a way to play with QLC i.e. arrangement of these particles in a way that I can make that arrangement look like Amma’s smiling face. That way Amma’s smiling pic will be ‘carved’ on the face of these molecules. These ‘modified’ oxygen molecules will then be released into the atmosphere for consumption by normal people.”

When Dr. Pillai was asked if he can provide a demonstration of how the modified molecules will look like Dr. Pillai smiled and said, “I unfortunately cannot demo this to you because of Heisenberg’s uncertainty principle. Amma’s pic exists at a particular location on the surface of the molecule, but by the time I determine its location the photons would have distorted its shape. And by the time I restructure it to resemble Amma’s smiling face its location would have been lost. Damn Heisenberg why did you discover such a principle?”

Dr. Pillai further provided more details about the properties of these modified O2 molecules, “I would have renamed them Ammogen instead of Oxygen but then the chemical properties of these modified molecules are essentially the same. People breathing these molecules however may get occasional fits or pangs during which they may feel the sense of obligation and respect for Amma, because she has provided them with such purified and high quality air.”

Dr. Pillai will soon be filing multiple patents for his invention and is expecting multiple Nobel prizes in fields of Chemistry, Sociology, Anthropology and Political Sciences.