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Unable to beat India in Cricket, Pakistan to use Non-State cricketers to beat India

29, Feb 2016 By manithan

Lahore: After using non-state actors for years against India in the battlefield, Pakistan is all set to utilize non-state actors in another area, Cricket.

Highly placed source have revealed to Faking News that after repeatedly losing to India on the cricket field, Pakistan is planning to send a team of Non-State cricketers in an attempt to try and beat India.

Mauka Mauka
Mascot of Operation Mauka Mauka

In a first of its kind Joint Operation code named Operation Mauka Mauka, ISI, PCB, Pakistan Army and official Pakistan Government have all come together to launch this surprise attack on Indian team with non-state cricketers in an attempt to clinch an elusive win.

“Well, this Non-State actors policy has served us well in Kashmir, Punjab and Mumbai. Ever since we lost the direct conflicts with India, we used this policy and it has ensured that Pakistan Army is no longer embarrassed by the Indians. Now we bring the same funda to cricket”, a PCB spokesperson told Faking News on the condition of anonymity.

When we asked how it will work, the PCB spokesperson said, “We are recruiting a group of young motivated cricketers. They will be trained in a secret location by the best coaches that money can buy. Along with that Hafiz Saeed will be brainwashing them into believing that India is the only enemy. Once these boys are ready, they will challenge India to an impromptu match. If India decline, they are cowards. If India lose, these boys will be honored as Pakistanis else we disown them as Non-State actors. The same policy that we followed for our soldiers in Kargil.”

An inside source at ISI has supported the story and confirmed that they are currently on the lookout for 11 such fidayeen cricketers who are willing to sacrifice the chance of an international career to take revenge from India for the number of losses since the turn of the century.

Meanwhile, Shahid Afridi has denied the offer to captain this team since he believes he still has a long international career ahead of him.