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Team India suffering from split personality disorder, foreign conditions trigger the disorder

18, Aug 2014 By idiot420

Mumbai. Making a sensational revelation, BCCI today claimed that team India was suffering from split personality disorder (SPD), where they all start thinking themselves as kabaddi players when the alternate personality gets activated.

This disorder is triggered when they are exposed to foreign conditions, BCCI sources claim, which explains why the team struggled with playing cricket.

“They could have beaten England in kabaddi though,” a BCCI representative claimed.

Dhoni
“One day we will win World Kabaddi League”

“It’s a first case of SPD in the world where instead of a particular person, a whole group is showing a collective mental disorder. We are trying to get rid of it, and this defeat in England will help us with vital data for diagnostic purposes,” explained Shivlal Yadav, BCCI interim president, adding that they were trying their best to cure the problem.

“Considering the chronic nature of the disease, Lord’s win was very significant, and it shows that medication is on the right track, as we could stop the disorder in the first half of the tour,” an optimistic Mr. Yadav concluded.

BCCI has further urged that Indian cricket fans should show sympathy towards the cricket players, as in this turbulent time, love was the best medicine for them.

“They don’t need our hate, they need our care,” pleaded N. Srinivasan in an emotional emotional appeal from his India Cements office, “They are like our family members. We don’t throw away our loved ones when they are ill. They will be alright and bounce back. They will rule cricket and become super kings.”

Sources tell Faking News that doctors have warned BCCI of worse results if things weren’t controlled in the next six months.

“If things don’t improve, it’s highly probable that cricketer actually start playing kabaddi on the pitch or even gilli-danda with stumps,” feared a source close to Indian cricket team.

Sources further claim that if the situation doesn’t improve, BCCI might capitalize on the medical condition by taking control of Pro Kabaddi tournament.

“Our players are celebrities and people love to see them on screen. IPL has been good, and we could start hosting Pro Kabaddi in foreign countries to earn more money,” a BCCI official hoped seeing the condition of the Indian cricket team.