Mumbai. In a hugely shocking discovery, a man was found sleeping even while Sachin made his farewell speech at Wankhede stadium.
The man from Dahisar in Mumbai has been detained and being questioned by Mumbai police for his highly suspicious behavior.
The man, in his early 30s, whose name has not been made public by the police fearing backlash against his namesakes, pleaded that he was too tired from last night and usually woke up pretty late on the weekends.
“We checked with his office and he had taken a sick leave on Friday. His boss thought that he must be one of those millions of Sachin fans who had planned to fall sick on Friday to enjoy Sachin’s batting, but the shocking part is that not only he was not sick, he didn’t even watch Sachin’s innings!” a Mumbai police source told Faking News.
“There is no way he could have got tired as he didn’t do anything on Friday. Even his wife confirms this,” the police source added.
“We knew he would not be sick, but we allowed him, and other Sachin fans, to take leave as it won’t be happening again due to Sachin retiring. But we didn’t know he would misuse this policy!” said the HR manager of the company where this man worked.
The company is planning to fire him. “Jo Sachin ka nahi hua, woh humaara kya hoga?” the HR manager argued.
However, the miseries of this man may not end here. Sources say that he could soon be deported to Mars by ISRO.
“That’s the only use of this useless guy. We will send him and drop him on Mars. If he survives, we can conclude that there is life, though a sad life, on Mars,” an ISRO scientist explained.
ISRO is planning to fund this next Mars mission by collecting donations from Sachin fans.
“We are confident of raising the required funds within minutes. In fact, right now our worry is how to make sure that our website doesn’t crash once we announce the mission to send this idiot in space,” the ISRO scientist said.
To save his ass, the man is reported to have claimed that he saw Sachin batting and making a speech in his dream. Latest reports say that ASI officials have been called in to confirm the veracity of his dreams.