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IPL-7 will be a movie starring Sachin Tendulkar

27, May 2013 By Simon

Mumbai. The IPL series will continue despite the recent spot-fixing controversy, confirmed the BCCI. However, IPL 7 will see a small format change so that Sachin Tendulkar is visible even in the next season.

“The current 20-20 league format is very hard to sustain given all the controversy,” a BCCI spokesman told Faking News before the morning rush at his tea counter, “We can deliver all the drama and excitement without all this trouble by turning IPL 7 into a scripted movie.”

Sachin
IPL-6 was not be his last IPL

But writing the script is proving difficult. “We’re trying to make it exciting,” said writer Amit Jain, “but after the spot fixing scandal, drunken celebrities fighting security and late night rave parties, anything we write just seems a bit boring and predictable.”

The film will star a happily retired Tendulkar whose Padma Vibhushan is stolen by a many-faced fast bowling demon which has over-run the kingdom. The ogre then flees to a distant five star hotel. A huge battle erupts in which Sachin’s army of commercial sponsors and Rajya Sabha members defeats waves of book-makers and models to rescue the award.

Back in Mumbai, Sachin realizes cricket is his dharma and throws the award into the sea.

“We did consider a rags to riches story in which a hopeless team undergoes a magical transformation and wins the IPL,” explained Jain, “but then we saw the Sunrisers play and decided it was just too fantastical.”

Several Rajasthan Royals players have already signed up. “They say they’re going to need the money,” said Jain, “plus, they’re used to letting someone else call the shots.”

Some IPL fans have criticized the replacement of the two month long tournament with a single movie, claiming the film does not contain enough cricket.

“Cricket?” replied our contact at the BCCI, “The IPL has never had anything to do with that! If they were interested in cricket then they would be watching something else!”