New Delhi. Taking cricket diplomacy a step ahead to ease strained relations with Pakistan, Indian government has offered permanent citizenship to the Pakistani man – Shoaib (imaginary name), who has been waiting for years burst crackers.
Considering the fact that, after yet another defeat in the World Cup, Shoaib would not be able to burst crackers even in 2015, India’s gesture is being seen as a huge respite for him.
“We are ready to give him citizenship immediately,” said Parmeshwar Agrawal, a senior government official, even before the match was finished adding that it’s a preemptive measure from Indian side to prevent any mishap, “We have heard that Shoaib Ji is in quite critical condition, as he is too eager to burst crackers. We don’t want to let something unfortunate happen to him because of the shock.”
Shoaib has been promised to be allowed to ignite a fhuljhari, the moment he will cross the border.
“That would be like a first aid for him,” Mr. Agrawal continued, ” To do this, he has been waiting for years. It would be wrong if I say I understand his pain, as frankly we Indians can’t, but we are doing whatever is possible.”
Following instructions from the top, BSF team at the border is ready with a truck full of crackers.
“It’s just like offering food to a man who is hungry for days,” a BSF officer told Faking News, “We are expecting him to burst crackers continuously for at least two days.”
However, Indian government is yet to receive any confirmation from Shoaib. Sources from across the border say, he is a bit confused, but reportedly, Pak Prime Minister Nawaz Sharif has given him a green signal.
“I have heard that, Nawaz Sharif in a telephonic call to Shoaib said, ‘Ja Shoaib ja, jee le apni zindagi, jala le pataakhe‘,” disclosed a source.