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Humiliated England players keen to join Ireland squad

22, Feb 2015 By Ryan Fernandes

Christchurch. After the humiliating loss to New Zealand in the 9th match of the ICC cricket World Cup 2015 reports from the England camp suggest that many of the players are keen to join the Ireland team after the tournament.

On a day when Tim Southee ran through the England batting line up followed by Brendon McCullum going berserk with the bat, England players want to escape backlash at home and rejuvenate their ODI careers by getting into the formidable Ireland squad. The fact that the cricket pundits are backing Ireland on gaining test status, adds weight to the news.

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When contacted one of the team officials, on condition of anonymity said, “Yes the reports are true. If Ireland players can play for England, why can’t the reverse happen?”

England has long been known to poach talented Irish players and convert them into Ravi Bopara like players. No better example than the current England captain Eoin Morgan, once upon a time a prolific Irish batsman, who now can’t get the ball off the square unless he’s trying the switch hit.

When this correspondent asked Eoin Morgan whether Kevin Pietersen’s absence was responsible for the loss, he said “I am from Ireland, I cant comment on the selection policies of the England team. All I can say is that Ireland have a fantastic team.” This comment has further intensified the speculations.

Piers Morgan, the British journalist who has been a staunch critic of the English team was furious with the loss because Kevin Pietersen wasn’t in the squad and also because he dozed off for 10 minutes during the New Zealand batting resulting in him missing the second half of the match completely. When asked if Alistair Cook would’ve made a difference to the squad he said “Yes ofcourse! The score would’ve been even lesser but at least Alistair would’ve batted for the full 50 overs.He went on to add that a few English players had in fact confided in him about their desire to play for Ireland. But as usual, nobody is taking Mr Piers Morgan seriously.

In related reports Indian medium pace bowlers Ashoke Dinda, Munaf Patel and Praveen Kumar, who are closely following the current situation of the England team are reported to have submitted their applications to ECB. This illogical move stems from the realization that their careers as Indian players are over.

When asked how this could be possible, Dinda is reported to have said “If a Zimbabwean can coach Indian team, why can’t Indian player play for England?.” He also added that though he is not as tall as the English pacemen, he can make up for it with his freakishly high delivery stride which according to him helps him deliver the ball from a trajectory higher than that of Mohammed Irfan of Pakistan. This seems to be the ultimate insult to English cricket.