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BCCI to buy New Zealand to reduce overseas losses under Dhoni's captaincy

10, Feb 2014 By indianpsycho

Chennai. Immediately after MS Dhoni became the Indian captain with worst away test loss record with 11 overseas defeats to his credit, N Srinivasan BCCI in a damage control exercise called an urgent meeting in the city.

In the meeting it was unanimously decided by BCCI president N Srinivasan that they would be purchasing entire New Zealand and Sri Lanka.

Srinivasan and Dhoni showing framed documents to media to show both Sri Lanka and New Zealand a part of Indian territory.
Srinivasan and Dhoni showing framed documents to media to show both Sri Lanka and New Zealand a part of Indian territory.

This move is aimed at reducing the number loses under Dhoni’s captaincy abroad. With Sri Llanka and New Zealand both in BCCI fold and thus under India, Indian team’s loses under Dhoni would go down to 9 and he would no longer hold the dubious record.

This way the record would be safe till India’s next overseas test series against English team in July this year. However by then BCCI is confident of purchasing even England.

BCCI has also rubbished claims of it doing this to shield Dhoni who also captains CSK team owned by Srinivasan.

“This is an important move to keep the spirit of the game as well as test matches alive. To begin with we are experimenting with smaller countries and may move on to bigger countries if it works well for us,” said a senior BCCI official.

“Imagine the kind of team we would have if we have batting might of Sri Lanka, bowling like New Zealand and er.. talent of Rohit Sharma all rolled into one,” he further added.

In order to make this feat possible Rajiv Shukla, the mega negotiator has already gotten in touch with his government at centre as well as embassies of both the countries to come up with a contract.

Rajiv Shukla is confident that New Zealand and Sri Lanka both stand to gain from this move.

“To begin with this can ensure employment of uncapped players of both countries in IPL. Also with matches played there being counted in India, tickets sales in stadium are bound to go up,” Shukla said victoriously.

However if both countries don’t agree to BCCI’s demand, they also have a Plan B up their sleeve.

They will then outsource the job of documentation and paperwork to prove that New Zealand and Sri Lanka were already part of Indian Territory to Robert Vadra who is naturally gifted with the talent to lay claim on any land.

Meanwhile BCCI is also having a word with Prashant Bhushan of Aam Aadmi Party fame to see if some territories of India like Eden Gardens, Wankhede etc can be ceded to neighboring countries so that matches won there by India can be counted as overseas victories.

Latest reports also suggest that N Srinivasan BCCI is in process of buying Supreme Court of India as well after the latter indicted Gurunath Meiyappan in IPL spot-fixing case.