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BCCI to appoint non-playing captain for winning “tosses”

26, Dec 2010 By Guest Patrakar

Mumbai. BCCI sources suggest that MS Dhoni could be sacked as the Indian cricket captain for his impeccable inability to win tosses in test matches where weather and pitch conditions proved to be crucial in the first session. Board is in talks with the ICC to allow a “non-playing” captain for the Indian cricket team exclusively for taking part in tosses.

“Non-playing captains are allowed in other sports such as Tennis,” BCCI President Shashank Manohar said, who further informed that recruitment for such a non-playing captain would be well advertised once the “deal” with ICC was closed.

“Dhoni would continue to play for the team,” the BCCI President added and clarified, which meant that the current Indian captain might not have much to lose as a result.

Dhoni had earlier won tosses
A file photo when India won a toss in an international cricket match under the captaincy of MS Dhoni

In fact, sources suggest that Dhoni’s market value has gone up. There are rumors that FIFA has already contacted Dhoni and asked him to predict winners of matches for the 2014 world cup in absence of Paul the Octopus. FIFA would officially announce the opposite of what Dhoni picks as part of his predictions.

Pepsi, for which Dhoni works as brand ambassador, too is reported to be working on a new television advertisement copy: “Dhoni goes to a shop. He sees Pepsi and Coke. He chooses Coke. Tagline – YEH NAHI HAI RIGHT CHOICE BABY! HAARA!”

Not just sports and business, Dhoni’s inability to win tosses has pushed universities from all over India into contacting publishers of Mathematics books on “probability” with some corrections:

Q: What is the probability of success in a coin toss experiment? A: 0.5* *if the experiment does not involve Dhoni

Amitabh Bachchan posted in his blog – “Give him the coin from Sholay. I hope he will be able to win tosses with it”. Meanwhile, Dhoni’s wife Sakshi is quite ecstatic about giving birth to a baby girl in a few months as her husband guessed it to be a baby boy when she asked him.

ICC officials have not yet confirmed receipt of any request from the BCCI but experts believe that BCCI could get away with this one as ICC President, Sharad Pawar, is an Indian.

“Plus he is also a non-playing captain of a kind,” an expert pointed out, “he is the Agriculture Minister of India, when did you see him play that role?”

(submitted by KJ)