Saturday, 25th November, 2017

Snippets

BCCI proposes new rules to help Indian cricketers

06, Feb 2014 By Paranoid Android

Last night ICC’s twitter account was hacked and a private DM from BCCI was sent to Faking News. BCCI sources are accusing Lalit Modi for this incident.

The DM reveals that BCCI encouraged with recent success of their ICC takeover revamp plan is going to force present a new bill to revitalize cricket. This bill will define new rules for teams when playing against India.

Srinivasan showing BCCI's resolve to help cricket.
Srinivasan showing BCCI’s resolve to help cricket.

Proposed new rules when India is bowling:

1. If a catch is taken by a spectator it will be considered a legal dismissal as crowd everywhere is only Indian. All spectators will be given custom Indian team jerseys if they send a tweet to @BCCI with #ThankYouBCCI hashtag.

2. As Rohit Sharma has personally experienced all different ways of getting out he will be promoted from most talented batsmen to most talented umpire and will be the only umpire when India is bowling. He can contribute more to Team India through his umpiring than his batting.

3. Failing to hit an Ishant Sharma or Ashwin ball will be considered a dismissal.

4. One tip one hand catches are allowed.

Proposed new rules when India is batting:

1. Any ball above chest height will be declared no-ball and a free-hit will be awarded on next ball.

2. There will be a new maximum bowling speed limit of 125kph. Exceeding this limit will result in Indian team being awarded 4 extra runs and bowler being fined $10k for dangerous bowling. Repeated offense may result in cancellation of bowler’s IPL contract.

3. Any outside edge will automatically be worth 4 runs.

4. Virat Kohli and Dhoni can bat extra innings in place of Rohit Sharma and Suresh Raina.

In case the new bill isn’t accepted BCCI has threatened to rename BCCI as ICC and declare IPL as T20 World Cup.

Sources say BCCI is also willing to go to the extreme of declaring Ranji ODI Trophy as ODI World Cup and Ranji Trophy as World Test Championship in line with American sports leagues.

“All spectators come only to watch India win hence these changes are required to keep cricket popular among people,” said BCCI spokesperson Mr Unlimited Power justifying these new rules.