Mumbai: The Australia squad has arrived in India for their upcoming series against India and they are doing everything they can to be prepared for this tough tour. After hiring Monty Panesar as spin consultant and S Sriram as a mentor, Australian spinners even took advice from Daniel Vettori and Rangana Herath. Still not confident enough, Australians have turned to the best spinners on the Indian soil, Indian journalists.
“After taking advice from 4 different spinners, we thought we would be confident enough to face the Indian batting but we weren’t. From the moment we left the airport, every Indian who met us has asked if he could bat against our spinners. They all were so confident about hitting our guys for sixes that our spinners started doubting their abilities”, said a Cricket Australia official.
Explaining further, he said, “To boost their morale, we decided that we must seek advice from the best spinners in India. After asking around, we learnt that we must approach Indian journalists who are masters of spin. We also learnt that they are always supremely confident even after making hundreds of mistakes. That is the level of confidence I want to see in our spinners.”
“It wasn’t easy to get hold of them though. Most of the journalists were in Uttar Pradesh covering the elections there but we did manage to track a few down. After hearing our offer, they agreed to be a part of our squad and told us that they will ground reports on Uttar Pradesh from our training ground. I really liked this professionalism of theirs”, the official said.
When we asked a senior journalist whether he is taking up this assignment for Australia, he said ,”Yes I am taking up this assignment. Does that make me anti-national? If you call me that, I don’t care because I don’t have to explain myself to pseudo-nationalists like you. I am not against India, I am just educating more and more people about my craft.”
At this point, we interrupted him to inform him that it was a yes/no question and an essay wasn’t required.