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Australian rugby team to use Kerala assembly chaos footage as a training video

21, Mar 2015 By Pagla Ghoda

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Huge inspiration for Rugby teams

Melbourne: Captain of Australian national rugby team Steve Mcgrath has issued an official statement yesterday night and praised the members of Kerala legislature for their recent actions in the assembly. Addressing a few reporters outside Melbourne Rugby stadium this morning, Mcgrath expressed his desire to invite few chosen legislators to Australia and honor them with medals of appreciation for their passionate actions which are proving to be a huge learning experience for budding rugby players.

“Someone forwarded me that Kerela assembly chaos clip a couple of days back and I must say I am very impressed. Throwing heavy wooden chairs a few feet up in the air, mercilessly pushing a crowd of hundreds of people to make way for oneself, tearing clothes of others when required, these are not the actions which a normal person can commit. To be able to do this, one has to be driven by extreme passion and desire to destroy his opponents. Every contact sports professional has something to learn from the advanced combat techniques used by Kerala legislators to ravage chaos and havoc, in a room full of otherwise harmless objects. There was a method to their madness,” Steve told Faking News.

“And this is the kind of maddening but controlled rage which a rugby player has to master to succeed professionally. Push, kick, shove, sledge do whatever you have to do, to decimate the opposition, this is the core principle we want to inculcate in our budding players. And the Kerala assembly video is one of the best examples of how to channelize aggression in most passionate and focused way. Hence we have decided that this video will now serve as a training video for our established players who want to take their game to a next level,” Mcgrath said

On being asked what are the future plans for Australian Rugby, Mcgrath provided further details, “This video has forced us to change our future plans. Our PR team has seen the complete footage of chaos in Kerela Assembly and has identified few key faces who showed most aggressive behavior. We would be inviting these gentlemen as keynote speakers to our rugby summit scheduled next month in Canberra, where we would also facilitate them with medals and certificates of honor. These gentlemen narrating their valuable experiences would be very helpful for our youngsters who wish to make long and successful careers in rugby.”

“And the buck does not stop here; our experts would now be closely studying the assembly footage and alienating specific hand-movements and facial gestures which would later be included in a detailed new curriculum which we are building. This curriculum would later be taught in the form of advanced level courses at our Rugby academy,” Mcgrath concluded.

While Australian Rugby team has several plans in store for next few months, several Kerala legislators are getting similar invitations from all over the world to conduct training sessions, be independent consultants to contact-sports teams and give keynote speeches at various sports-summits. One of the fiercest legislators is also said to have landed a contract with a leading publishing house to write a series of motivational books for contact sports enthusiasts.