Sydney, Australia. Habituated of seeing their home team win the much celebrated test cricket series, 50,000 Australians lined up the streets of Sydney following the conclusion of the 2010-11 Ashes today afternoon only to realize that their team had actually lost the series to England, that too by losing three times by an innings. Australia had not lost any Ashes series at home for the last 26 years.
After half an hour of wild celebrations, the creeping realization spread through the crowd after a few of the revelers happened to see what turned out to be a group of “unusually cheerful” Englishmen coming out of a bar. In contrast to the usual party late into the night, silence descended on the 50,000 confused revelers.
Awkwardness and embarrassment was largely avoided as the crowd made its way home uttering “nice to be outside”, “such lovely weather today” and “lot of people out today, bit busy”.
“Cricket? How did that go? But, I’m a rugby man, me”, said Dave Stroud, dressed in a Australia ODI shirt with an inflatable kangaroo tied onto his head, “no, mate, I was just out for a walk, the shirt? Oh, the missus put everything else in the wash. What kangaroo?”
Many found solace in a nearby bar by watching Australia thrash Fiji at Australian Rules Football. “This is more like it,” said one drinker, “think I’ll stick to this in future. India don’t have a team do they?”
Meanwhile after their comprehensive series win, many in England’s “Barmy Army” of fans are calling for an end to the Ashes urn, which contains the “ashes of English cricket” – the ashes of a stump from the 1882 series in which Australia beat England on English soil for the first time.
Instead, they are calling for the ceremonial burning of Michael Clarke’s bat to create the “ashes of Australian Cricket”. Many have suggested that an empty can of Victoria Bitter would be a fitting receptacle.
Faking News kept on calling Ricky Ponting for his comments but he totally didn’t pick up the phone. We finally sent an SMS with a winking smiley before this report was decided to be published.