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Snippets

After free Wi-Fi, Delhi now demands 'Free-Hits' to win IPL matches

15, Apr 2015 By Shaitaan Khopdi ™

New Delhi: There are lot of things common between Delhi, the state and IPL team Delhi Daredevils. While Delhi re-elected the same CM this year as well, Delhi Daredevils are all set to repeat their last year’s performance after losing 2 back to back matches. They both put expensive bet on a person who promises a lot. Saviors of both had a brief stint in Bangalore before joining the team in Delhi. The results have been similar for both and Delhi’s fortunes have not changed.

A member of Delhi Daredevils staff Mufti Khairatwala told our reporter Shaitaan Khopdi™, “After carefully analyzing the situation and doing an internal poll, DD management has figured out that, only free stuff does the trick for Delhi. So we have demanded BCCI that free hits be provided to us by opposition bowlers. We lost both the matches on last ball. So it is clear that more than extra effort on field, we need extra deliveries by opponent.”

Deciding who would use those free hits.
Deciding who would use those free hits.

Before you think we are a city team of freebie lovers, I must tell you that we worked on other ideas too. Two guys from our action committee suggested that we need to work on improving our batting and fielding. We didn’t like their idea so we bounced them out removed them from the action committee, Khairatwala further added.

Shaitaan Khopdi™ asked if any opponent team has agreed to their idea of offering free-hits, Mufti told, “We have received SMS from Ishant Sharma of Sun Risers Hyderabad and he said that he can bowl 24 no-balls if Dhoni Dhawan asks him to. Akhirkar Dilli wale hi kaam aaye”.

Mufti further informed that MI captain Rohit Sharma has refused to provide any freebies. “It was expected from a known Ambani agent like Rohit Sharma. I will expose Sharma-Ambani nexus in my next sting. I have 370 pages evidence that he is on Ambani’s payroll”, Mufti added in hushed tone.

To Khairatwala’s embarrassment his assistant quickly pitched in and told us that 370 pages of evidence is nothing but Rohit Sharma’s contract with Mumbai Indians and nothing fancy should be expected from the proposed sting operation.

Mufti immediately ran after his assistant yelling, “Ruk saale abhi tera bhi sting karta hoon. Tu hi tha na jisne us din naam badal ke Gurunath Meiyappan ko phone kiya tha aur 6 players ki deal pata raha tha!!!