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After Dahi handi, adventure sport status to Mumbai Local Trains: Maha Govt.

14, Aug 2015 By jehp

Mumbai: In a welcome move yesterday the Government of Maharashtra has classified Dahihandi to be an ‘Adventure Sport’ in order to regularize it and minimize injuries. In a similar move, the Minister of Sports has announced that traveling on the Mumbai Suburban Rail Network will also be classified as an ‘Adventure Sport’.

Adrenaline rush !
Adrenaline rush !

The move came as welcome news to commuters. One commuter was thrilled at the news, “I’ve spent years of my life in training and I can now proudly say that I am able to lean out of the door and hang all the way from Churchgate to Virar. Finally my skills will be appreciated.”

Those habituated to the thrill of crossing the railway tracks without using subways or overbridges will also gain from this move as even track crossing has been given ‘Adventure Sport’ status.

The Minister, in an official statement, said, “After years of watching people exert all their power in pushing to get on and off at Dadar, we have finally found a way to capitalize on this confusion. We will distribute helmets, shoulder pads and knee pads on all platforms to ensure the safety of all passengers. As these skills are invaluable to every citizen, the Government will also make it compulsory for all primary school students to cross the tracks at least once per day. We have also decided to provide fewer benches in classrooms than the number of students to teach the youth how to fight for a seat from an early age.”

The state has also planned large sporting events of what many believe to be the future Official State Sport of Maharashtra. 100 Cr Rupees are estimated to be spent on the planned construction of benches for spectators along railway lines.

Cash prizes will be given to record holders for shortest time taken to cross railway tracks, most amount of time spent hanging out of the doorway and shortest time taken to enter a train at Dadar station.

Special medals will also be handed out to brave passengers who manage to remain on the train roof without being electrocuted.

The move has been praised by analysts even though it will encourage such acts because, in the words of one analyst, “The adrenaline rush is too great for a common commuter to resist. At least with proper training and safety measures, now fewer people will die.”

A random passerby with no substantive thoughts on the matter was asked for a comment anyway, decided to praise the Sena-BJP government for solving a problem that the Congress government had failed to solve.