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Protest against “Rise of the Machines” in Techkriti

28, Feb 2014 By Ad-min

Kanpur. Police fired plastic bullets, tear gas and water cannons at scores of people assembled outside IIT Kanpur protesting against its upcoming technical festival, Techkriti. Police took action after some of the protesters hurled stones at the IIT gate causing some minor injuries to the stationed policemen there. Plainclothes police were seen arresting some demonstrators and escorting them to police vehicles.

A startling discovery was made during interrogation of the detainees. Most of them were found to be students of IITK itself who were against the inviting of renowned Physicist and educator, David J. Griffiths, who is internationally acclaimed for his exceptional contribution to Electrodynamics and Quantum Theory.

Techkriti Fest
Techkriti Fest

Students, reportedly, cried foul about his book, Introduction to Electrodynamics, which being a part of their 1st year’s academic curriculum gave many a student tormented nights, hallucinations and nightmares before their examinations,  finally causing them to lose control over their mind. Some of them lamented over the death of the JEE Electrodynamics which they considered quite easy.

According to reports, DJ Griffiths is a part of the Talks of Techkriti. Among the other noteworthy speakers are Dr. Alvin E. Roth (Nobel Laureate, Economics-2012), Rakesh Sharma (the first Indian to travel in Space), Hans Rosling (Data Visionary, Global Health Expert), Jordan Soles (Director of Technology for movies like The Hunger Games: Catching Fire, Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol and Now You See me) and many more yet to be revealed.

When contacted by the Faking News, the Dean of Student Affairs (DOSA) of IIT Kanpur expressed his displeasure over the involvement of his students in such an activity.

What was more baffling for the police was the recognition of some non-students in the detainee herd who according to them “had no personal motive” for dissent. One of them who appeared to be heavily under the influence of liquid spirits, claimed to work for an NGO working towards saving nature, lashed out at the administration of the institution for organizing a festival of such a bad taste. Some of them reportedly quoted Rousseau, “We do not know what our nature permits us to be.”

They were against the development of modern technology such as genetic engineering, nanotechnology and robotics claiming them to be “against God and Nature.” Some over-enthusiasts of the movie “Rise of the Machines” disapproved of some of the events in Robogames like Wildsoccer, Quest for the rest, Robo Pirates, iARC declaring them to be inhuman and asserting machine-rule over humans.

They said that such exhibition of technology of the future like Biomimetic Robots, The Decelerator, EZ Robots, Hovertrax and Human Video Face Mapping was polluting and corrupting the minds of the students. Even the girls now prefer humanoids, as they see this as an ideal relationship where they can get all their tasks done without any questions asked. It is rumored that robots even have copulated with women. ‘No one loves robot porn, do they?’ some of the agitators asked.

Some fans of Alok Nath a.k.a. Babuji even despised the Business events in Techkriti like Battlefield, StockSim, Richie Rich and Marketing villa claiming that such events were promoting avarice and greedy acquisitiveness among students and making them forgo their ‘Sanskaars’. Also they were turning students against nature and making them pawns in a war waged by Dalal Street against humanity, as a whole.

An Air Traffic controller in the herd(at least claimed to be) complained that the Aero event “Take Off” which includes, Cruise Control, Impulse and Multi Hover which attracts a lot of participants has made air traffic unmanageable. Reports are also incoming that the military is going to be called in for the talk by Miss World 1998, Linor Abargil, eminent global women activist, keeping in mind the huge crowd it may attract. Some insiders also reveal that due to the large no. of events Techkriti has to offer, it might be converted to a month-long event instead of just a 4-day fest.

There is a general feeling of deject throughout the campus junta as the students, with a heavy heart are making a list of the events they will have to skip. But some students have come up with more sadistic ideas like cutting themselves into halves to attend at least two events, simultaneously.

Due to the large number of students participating and the ever increasing multitude of spectators, some students are complaining that now they have to endure longer queues to go to the washroom and in the mess and have to wait even longer than to book a ticket via IRCTC.

Some of the protestors included friends of those who engaged in Online Events last year said that their friends are still trying to adjust to the normal lifestyle after sitting in front of the computer for a long time playing Crypto, BattleCity and CHAOS. The daylight for them sparkled more than Edward Cullen (The Fairy, remember?).

The police said, in a statement, that they are not ruling any possibility out and chances are that a CBI enquiry might be called for to ascertain if this was a localized demonstration or a bite of a larger conspiracy.