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Angry man moves court to get entire Internet blocked

24, Feb 2013 By Pagal Patrakar

Mumbai. Garamendra Krodhi, widely believed to be the angriest man in India, has decided to take his anger to a “logical” conclusion.

As a first step towards it, Garamendra has moved Mumbai High Court with an appeal to block each and every URL accessible in India, because the Internet annoys, irritates, and upsets him.

Sources say that Garamendra had joined Twitter a week back, and experienced 256 Twitter fights since then, 255 of them resulting in either Garamendra blocking someone or the other person being blocked by him.

“I crapblocked KRK,” he claimed.

Garamendra
Lull before the storm. Watch this video.

“The only person I couldn’t block was myself,” Garamendra explained the inconsistency in numbers, “I had tried to block myself when I became angry at having tweeted a typo. People compared me with Shahid Kapoor!”

Garamendra further claimed that he damaged at least two laptop keyboards and five Chinese mobiles while tweeting angrily.

“I pressed the keys the way I would have pressed the necks of those blockheads!” the angry bird man explained.

As days on Twitter passed, Garamendra realized that instead of blocking one Twitter user at a time, a better solution was to block entire Twitter, and by extension the entire Internet.

Sources further inform that Facebook was no better for Garamendra, where his fake profile with display picture of a girl was getting 176 likes on an average than his own profile, which attracted 0 likes and 2 comments from his father and long lost uncle, who are also on Facebook for some unknown reasons.

Depressed, Garamendra turned to YouTube to watch some funny cat videos, where he ended up watching a three minute long ad while waiting for the 30 seconds clip to begin.

There, he decided, he didn’t need internet in his life, and filed the appeal in the court.

Unconfirmed sources say that the government is keen to help Garamendra block the entire internet, as this could control criticism, but government sources denied any such intentions.

“The law will take its own course,” an official in DoT said.

Meanwhile the rest of the India is worried on how to stop this man, who might inspire others, especially those with stylish hairdos, to go on a similar blocking spree.