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Wanted criminals in Bihar refuse to be photographed in gamchha, demand branded monkey cap

03, Jul 2016 By Pagla Ghoda

Chhapra, Bihar: Wanted criminal and supari killer Jaikishan Kashyap has demanded that from now on, whenever he is arrested, he should no longer be paraded by police in front of media in a pink gamchha (loincloth). He has threatened that if police feels the need to get him photographed then they should provide Allen Solly or Louis Vuitton Monkey caps else he will prefer to show his real face to media rather than wrapping a gamchha around his face.

Gamchha
The famous gamchha may be on its way out

Jaikishan Kashyap, who prefers being called “Jacks” is apparently a very big fan of Hollywood movies, especially Quentin Tarantino’s gangster flicks and aims to draw from their coolness quotient. Talking to media he said, “You see what is wrapped around my face right now? A pink gamchha. Besides the fact that it stinks badly, I hate to be wrapped in such an uncool thing. Look at American Gangsters, they are so hip and cool, their gadgets, gizmos, guns and clothing are world class. They wear Allen Sholay monkey caps, Louis Vitori jackets and Groochi gloves. And we Indian gangsters are always paraded as wretched road-side pickpockets in stained kurta payjamas? But no more, I demand that whenever police catches us from now on, they should provide us with proper monkey caps. Or I will choose to reveal my face to everyone.” Kashyap then struggled to forcibly remove the gamchha from his face but was prevented by two constables from doing so.

Kashyap’s close aide Jugnu Tiwari who is equally fanatic about Hollywood and prefers to call himself “Jugs” also expressed his concerns over whole issue. He said, “I did my MBA from Chhapra Business School (CHHABS) before I joined the world of organized crime, as a part time CA and part time sharp shooter with Jack’s gang. I have always been fascinated by how American gangsters are at all times suited and booted in awesome leather and surrounded by crazy hot chicks. Indian crime space unfortunately is way more rustic and ordinary. Whenever we are caught and displayed in front of media, we are shown as petty thieves with no life. Police should realize that we are well known high profile gangsters with some izzat in crime circles. We ought to be photographed in proper gear. It’s not a joke anymore.”

According to well-placed sources the police department is not taking Jacks’ and Jugs’ warnings lightly and has placed a bulk order for branded monkey caps with a leading online retailer. One of the constables spoke to us on condition of anonymity. He said, “Earlier whenever we were facing pressure for quick arrest we used to call out brothers, bro-in-laws or close friends to police station for a quick photo shoot with media and issued a statement that some suspects have been apprehended. We just used to cover their face with gamchha and it did the trick. But if not covering the face becomes a trend as Jaikishan is threatening, then we “will” have to catch real gangsters every time before a media photo shoot. I pray that commissioner sahib better get these gangsters monkey caps and jackets pretty soon, or we small time policemen are doomed.”