Delhi/Mumbai. After successfully failing to make any favourable breakthrough between India and Pakistan, Times of India has now decided to shift its focus and try to foster friendship between Delhi and Mumbai.
Residents of Delhi and Mumbai have been fighting a 66 years long battle to prove which city is better for residing. The war is being fought mostly on papers and recently online, but it has been as fierce as it can get.
“People have lost friends, sanity, and time, and gigabytes of data in this senseless rivalry, it’s high time someone stopped this madness,” a senior official from the Times Group told Faking News.
The peace initiative will be similar to the “Aman ki Asha” campaign. It will be called “Launde chi Mulgi”.
“The emphasis would be on to find common ground via a cultural exchange, conflict resolution, and commerce opportunities,” the Times Group official explained.
For cultural exchange, boastful and loud mouthed Delhi-wallas (sans their famous fathers) will be sent over to deal with equally boastful and loud mouthed politicians of Mumbai, while Mumbai would be more than happy to send 5 sacks of their famed “spirit” which will help Delhi overcome any situation and bounce back after daily verbal blasts from the likes of Digvijay Singh and Kapil Sibal.
The conflict resolution part of Launde chi Mulgi will see an editors’ meet being organized, where former colleagues turned rivals Arnab Goswami (a Mumbai resident) and Rajdeep Sardesai (a Delhi resident) will come up with ideas of peaceful co-existence.
Safety of women was one area where Mumbaikars always used to look down upon Delhiites, But Mumbai has already taken the first step towards bridging the gap, hence the campaign might not touch this subject, sources say.
To bridge the gap further, Delhi will be encouraged to host slums right in the heart of Lutyens’ Delhi, narrow their roads, smash their flyovers, send Qutub Minar (which looks like a mill chimney) for redevelopment, and chase outsiders out of the national capital to be at par with Mumbai as far as infrastructure, quality of life, sense of belonging is concerned.
As far as Delhi Metro and Mumbai local is concerned both cities are deliberating exporting few coaches to each other to create hybrid trains where people can experience services of eunuchs and beggars right inside the air-conditioned coaches.
“The opening ceremony will see Yo Yo Honey Singh perform with Himesh Reshammiya and Altaf Raja,” a source revealed how the Launde chi Mulgi will be kickstarted.
TOI is confident their latest peace campaign will be a success and people will stop fighting with each other over which city is better.