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To make Google search results about Uttar Pradesh irrelevant, Akhilesh Yadav renames the state

04, Jun 2014 By idiot420

Lucknow. A few hours after saying that Google search would show Badaun type rape cases in other states too, Uttar Pradesh CM Akhilesh Yadav has renamed his state to “Utopia”, making all the current Google search results about UP irrelevant.

Addressing an emotional press conference, Akhilesh Yadav almost cried while making the announcement. “It wasn’t easy for me to rename my state. But to make our state crime free zone, I will do whatever it takes,” said a teary eyed Akhilesh.

Akhilesh Yadav
Visionary leader.

With the new name, Samajwadi Party ruled state is now a crime-free state, at least as per Google search results.

“Now I challenge you to google for news and events related to ‘Utopia’, you will not get a single case of rape or murder,” Akhilesh added further with full confidence and pride.

On being asked that how renaming Uttar Pradesh was going to uplift the security of a common man, Akhilesh said, “What Uttar Pradesh? You are now in Utopia!”

Sources confirm that Samajwadi Party government has not only renamed the state, they have even renamed Badaun, which has been in news for all wrong reasons recently. New name of Badaun district is reported to be “Ajkfgkajsdklsjkdgsds”, which is almost impossible to remember and pronounce.

Reportedly, state government intention was to make the district’s name so weird that TV anchors can’t even pronounce it while reporting the news, which will force them to drop the news reports.

To further improve the shattered image of the state, Akhilesh government has ordered a massive campaign highlighting the online absence of crime cases reported in Utopia and Ajkfgkajsdklsjkdgsds.

As per government insiders, even Akhilesh knows that it would be virtually impossible to maintain this zero crime results for a long time, which is why they are trying to highlight this renaming and its immediate impact before it’s too late.

“Akhilesh ji knows that in the current scheme of things, internet will be flooded with negative news reports on Utopia and Ajkfgkajsdklsjkdgsds within a couple of days, which is why he’s making sure that this crime-free period is well advertised and celebrated,” revealed a source to Faking News.

Meanwhile, within hours of name change, a murder news was reported from Utopia’s capital, which has been indexed by Google search engine. Worried by the news, Akhilesh is mulling over the idea to rename his state every week.