New Delhi. In a searing indictment, the Supreme Court directed Lord Ganesha to show-cause for why he tortured Mooshika (his mouse) by sitting on him. This was in response to a PIL filed by the SPCA, based on a complaint by the rodent.
A visibly upset Ganesha said he felt betrayed. “I thought Mooshika was a happy hamster. I always fed him leftover Modaks. When my idols were drinking milk countrywide, I ensured that he got his cut. Heck, I even saved him from Lakshmi’s owl once,” he sighed.
This is not an isolated incident. Trouble seems to be brewing in the clouds above. Egged on by prominent citizens, there is a spring in the hoofs of the Vahanas.
Lord Shiva’s Nandi could be seen chewing the cud in satisfaction at the Jallikattu Ban. When questioned about the sudden spurt of animal rights cases, noted intellectual U.R Ananthamurthy said, “Since the charm of secularism is dying post-Modi victory, we are migrating to newer forms of outrage. Whether you moo, snort, neigh, hiss, buzz or caw, we want your voices heard.”
Accordingly, a class action lawsuit has been prepared by the Cock-and-Bull Andholan, an animal rights NGO. Lord Muruga’s Rooster and the Nandi are co-petitioners. Kartikeya’s Peacock is also considering joining in, complaining about unreasonable working hours and jetlag due to 3 trans-Atlantic trips without a break.
Readers may recall that the same NGO had successfully petitioned the IT industry to discontinue the use of the wired mouse.
“The tethering cable was a cruel form of bondage & stunted the normal development of the mouse. With the advent of the wireless mouse, freedom and dignity has been restored to the life of this sprightly animal,” noted Medha Patkar. The iconic image of Mrs. Patkar standing waist-deep in e-waste is etched in the memory of animal rights activists worldwide.
Complementing the efforts of the activists are underground militias like the dreaded JKLF (Jalli Kattu Liberation Front). “If the legitimate aspirations of the animals aren’t met, we will resort to armed struggle. Four legs are good, two legs are bad,” said a soft-spoken Sabyasachi Panda, chewing bamboo shoots. Arundhati Roy, in a classic piece, had affectionately described JKLF as Kittens with knives.
As we prepared to leave, we couldn’t help notice a feeling of camaraderie between the activists and the animals. Near the entrance, an out-of-work historian was gently persuading Lord Shani’s crow to file a racial discrimination suit against Indra’s white elephant.