Sunday, 19th November, 2017

Snippets

Servant at top businessman’s bungalow refuses to be called Ramu Kaka, wants new name and attire

06, Oct 2015 By Pagla Ghoda

Mumbai: Lead servant at Oberoi mansion Ramshekhar Kakoji, also apparently called Ramu Kaka since generations, has apparently revolted against being called by the same name any more. In an interview given to Faking News, Ramu Kaka got up close and personal.

Ramu Kaka deserves more dignity
Ramu Kaka deserves more dignity

Reporter: Namaste Ramu Kaka

Ramu Kaka: You gotta be kidding me, I hate this name

Reporter: Oh what name would you prefer to be called by?

RK: Call me RK, or better call me Alfred.

Reporter: Alfred?

RK: Yeah he was batman’s servant, and he is oh so respectable.

Reporter: Well not servant, butler, but yes he is respectable. But Alfred was pretty old and you seem quite young.

RK: Well if I am so young then even the name Ramu Kaka doesn’t suit me. But look at it this way, Alfred is such a cool name. It exudes honor, valor and courage.

Reporter: And Ramu Kaka doesn’t?

RK: No, it sounds so rural, rustic and preachy.

Reporter: Preachy?

RK: Yeah, kind of, well I don’t like the sound of it.

Reporter: But this is the name you always had, right?

RK: No sir. My actual name is Mahesh. Just that whoever comes to work at Oberoi mansion gets name Ramu Kaka. One Ramu Kaka goes other takes his place. People change, the name doesn’t. And the reason for this is stupid bollywood which has sterotyped us with such stupid names.

Reporter: But then this is like a cult right?

RK: Yes a cult, Oberoi, Amabani, Sahara all follow this naming protocol. Ramu Kaka, Shamu Kaka, Deenu Kaka these are some of the conventional usually accepted servant names.

Reporter: But now you want this to change?

RK: Yes and not only this, but my dress too. This dhoti-kurta with this stupid gamchha, this is so not cool.

Reporter: Dress too?

RK: Yeah, why not? Look at Alfred, how smartly he dresses; he looks like a General Manager or something.

Reporter: So have you presented these demands to your employers?

RK: Well bade-maalik scorned at it, but chhote-maalik was more considerate. He told me that they will consider changing my dress to more of uniform-based attire instead of dhoti gamchha. But the name might not change.

Reporter: And ?

RK: Sorry, but it’s time for chhote-maalik’s massage session, I would need to take your leave sir.

Reporter: Sure, do keep us posted on your name change. Do call our office, as and when that happens

RK: Sure, but why would you be so interested in a servant such as me, don’t you have important matters to cover?

Reporter: Really? Important  matters? We are media after-all. You expect us to get to cover real important matters?

RK: Yeah I get it; ok sir let me show you outside.

Reporter: Can I get some more tea, it was very tasty and those paper napkins too, they are really high quality.

RK: Sure sir, I will ask my subordinate Hariya Kaka to take good care of you.